Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Wrath of Volkrie

Some days I just have to ask myself, what's the deal with highsec ice miners and their counter-revolutionary tendencies?


After New Order forces settled into Tolle, Volkrie urged his fellow miners to throw off the shackles of good government. I agree with him on one thing, though: Freedom does come at a price, and it's exactly 10 million isk per year.


His urgent plea made no distinction between upper-case letters and lower-case. The 10 million isk mining permit situation was that desperate.


Volkrie attempted to recruit Jyfaala Tragu to the cause. She was an easy sell. You may remember Jyfaala, the CEO of To The Stars corp, with whom we dealt back in December. That was in Kamio, but sometimes our enemies come from afar to check up on us. Jyfaala spoke words of encouragement, but her ganking alts never materialized.


Like all rebels, Volkrie has a history. He had a bad experience during Hulkageddon, which colors his view of miner-gankers. He attempted to link some killmails of a Rupture and a couple frigates, which presumably prove his combat-readiness.


Reyna Atori came to Tolle on a recon mission for her alliance, which fears the New Order. Volkrie urged her to stop observing and start fighting.


Volkrie was mocked for his attempt to get in on Concord killmails of our suicide Catalysts. Yes, Concord arrives after the target is destroyed. And yes, the Catalysts are designed to get blown up. But Volkrie is a believer in killboards. If the killboard is green, that's all that matters. On that note, New Order Logistics has over 98% efficiency, according to EVE-Kill.net. We're elite PvP'ers!


Volkrie is also a level-headed pragmatist. He knows he won't be able to take down the New Order by himself. Unfortunately, the timing is bad, as his friends are all too busy right now. AFK mining, no doubt.


After another rant in local, Volkrie vowed to stand against the New Order to his last dying breath.


...Which, as it turned out, wasn't that far off. Less than half an hour after giving the finger to Agent Guybertini in local, a squad of Knights arrived and blew up Volkrie's Mackinaw. His ship was heavily tanked in shield, armor, and structure. With maximum skills it had over 40,000 EHP against our weapons. But there is no tank powerful enough to stand against the New Order. A mining permit would have worked better.

Losing the Mackinaw made Volkrie a little peevish, I think. After another half hour, he returned to Tolle with a vengeance.


Agent Bing Bangboom was there in the ice field, minding his own business, separating the good ice miners from the bad through bumps. Volkrie objected, and shot at him with a Hurricane. Concord arrived and somehow managed to penetrate the Hurricane's shield rigs and armor tank. Another Volkrie ship bit it.

Bing, victorious, got 2% of the damage on the killmail, while Concord got the other 98%. But as Volkrie would say, kills are kills.

15 comments:

  1. "He had a bad experience during Hulkageddon, which colors his view of miner-gankers."

    It colors his view in the direction of becoming one, ironically enough.

    1. Volkrie extols the virtues of tanking mining barges to the miners in Tolle local.

    2. Volkrie attempts to gank my mining ship in Tolle.

    3. My tanked mining barge survives, his catalyst explodes.

    Volkrie: "Beat these fucks at there[sic] own game!!"

    Well, he tried.

    Story of the resultant killright yet to be written.

    The counter-bumper bumpers displayed more pathos, but the rebels who attempt to gank mining ships to protest the ganking of mining ships seem to generate more lolz.

    When challenged to defend the anti-gank ganking practice, Volkrie resorted to the Deninard Conspiracy:
    "[ 2013.01.21 18:59:54 ] Volkrie > You on the other hand sold your self like a whore to the test and goons cause."

    (referring to purchasing a permit, apparently the distinction between purchasing and selling is lost upon this rebel)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang on to the Kill Right - Volkrie is around the ice belts, so someone can definitely find a use for it.

      Delete
    2. Cool.

      I'd like to gank his next mack in a point fitted newbship.

      This could take hours.

      Delete
  2. O' what glorious stupidity. You know, I never tire of reading about how some disgruntled miner grabbed his shit-fit battlecruiser to attempt a gank. Two empty midslots huh? Wow.

    -Pig

    ReplyDelete
  3. having heard of the gospel of james 315 i felt compelled to journey to tolle to see for myself his conquests, but alas i am disheartened. out of fifteen miners in the ice belt not a single one bore the crest of minerbumping.com! i warped in at 100 with a noobship clearly unfit for mining and not a single miner stirred or even aligned to a station! after scouting out the rest of the ice fields under minerbumping jurisdiction, i returned to tolle to finally find a group of miners with permits. when i asked if any of them weren't afk, only one responded.

    james, i have lost faith in you. it is a sin to have the power to free these miners from their bot-aspirancy without clearly making a dent in their efforts. i am here, james, to relieve you of your position of Saviour of Highsec

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone willing to commit to honorable highsec pvp can enforce the code.

      You are welcome to begin ganking the non-code compliant!

      Delete
  4. Well, did you destroy the code-violators in disguise? No? The real savior of Highsec would have, or at least bump them.

    Away with you, anonymous disgruntled carebear.

    -Galaxy Pig

    ReplyDelete
  5. http://www.iznogoudworld.com/About/Iznogoud_intro.jpg

    I WILL BECAME THE SURVIVOR OF HIGH SEC INSTEAD THE SURVIVOR OF HIGHSEC
    - Hoax 'Iznogoud' Theokratis

    PS: Dear James 315.. you have rent a large space in my brain, please don't forget to pay the charges.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG somebodys have to many ISK or their are stupid and don´t know the game play and the fitting of Volkrie ship ...lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. tl;dr

    Volkrie : STOP EXPLODING YOU COWARDS

    ~ Neltharak Idrissil

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha, great post, that last line really made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  9. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/130122-asteroids-mining-space-science/

    they forgot to mention the peril of mining without a permit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crap you beat me to it.

      Delete
    2. NASA should get on that immediately, and be sure to update their bios.

      Delete

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