Agent Helena Tiberius Mabata chose to carve out a slice of highsec in one of the "islands", areas surrounded by lowsec. One might expect the miners there to be a bit less bot-aspirant, since they have jumped out of highsec at least one time in their careers. However, in many cases the miners arrive in the islands by accident. Sometimes they're trapped. In any event, highsec miners in the islands are usually ill-tempered.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Doger Ronuken you were found to be in violation of the law of highsec and have such had your retriever decomissionedThe first miner to die was totally ignorant of the joyous reforms being enacted elsewhere in highsec. Helena shared the good news.
Doger Ronuken > what
Doger Ronuken > this isnt hi sec
Helena Tiberius Mabata > thi is 0.5 which is high sec
Helena Tiberius Mabata > and as such is subject to the New halamia code of conduct
Doger Ronuken > and who came up with that
Helena Tiberius Mabata > your savior and mine, james 315
Doger Ronuken > i dont have a bot fleetThe miner was very confused. Helena had no choice but to educate him. How can you explain the New Order of Highsec to someone who doesn't understand what highsec is?
Helena Tiberius Mabata > This is correct, but you are mining in high sec, our soverign territory, your flying anti-tanked ships, and found to be mining in excess
Doger Ronuken > 4 or lower is
Doger Ronuken > hi seck
Helena Tiberius Mabata > So you think were in low sec?
Doger Ronuken > no medem
Helena Tiberius Mabata > so you think were in medium sec?
Doger Ronuken > yup
Helena Tiberius Mabata > i'm afraid i have never heard of this illustrious medium sec, but all the same if its not low sec or null sec it is the territory of the New OrderAnti-Order memes are like pollution. No matter how remote the location, you can always find traces of the filth. Doger accused an Agent of "black mall". Outrageous.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > and as such subject to its laws
Doger Ronuken > so it is black mall
Doger Ronuken > can thear be king of all hi sec
Doger Ronuken > of all hi sec is a lote of taritory to coverIf you've ever doubted whether the New Order can leave a lasting impression on EVE, consider this: Years after the Gallente ice interdiction and Hulkageddon Infinity, miners are still complaining about the Goons. The New Order shall last forever, but even if it didn't, the miners would talk about it forever.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > indeed it is, this is a difficult and often thankless job
Helena Tiberius Mabata > but the knights of the new order stand ready to meet any challenge
Helena Tiberius Mabata > agents come from everywhere, and anywhere
REDWING BLACKBIRD > cheap ships used as fodder in ganks all to familiar anywhere
REDWING BLACKBIRD > another goon swarm type startup then ...lol
REDWING BLACKBIRD > not tough enough to service low sec yet
Helena Tiberius Mabata > bingo +1
REDWING BLACKBIRD > you remind me of the spammers in dodixie industrialist and scammersWithout prompting, Doger revealed his mixed-up priorities. He was doing calculus homework instead of mining at his keyboard. Parents, please tell your children that they can enjoy some homework after they've finished their video games.
Doger Ronuken > i would hunt you down but i jute dont hav the time right now
Doger Ronuken > i was in the midle of studying math
Helena Tiberius Mabata > So you pay to play a game, yet rather than play it you study math?
REDWING BLACKBIRD > mining is tedious he is mining and studying ...duh
Doger Ronuken > i was mineing ore wile i was doing my home work
Doger Ronuken > so is calc 2
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Valentun Pykalo you were violating the law of highsec as laid forth by James 315, as such you criminal barge has been forcibly decomissioned. Please remember a permit before commiting further deeds of bot aspirancy in our soverign territoriesHelena returned to Stegette the next day. The improvement of the system was taking place slowly. Progress is not always perceptible to the untrained eye. Keep the faith.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Francheska Cloverly you too were found to be in violation of the CODE. no one is above the law of highsec
Francheska Cloverly > oh hush i wasnt botting i even moved off so ur venture buddy could get the jaspet u my friend are an ass
Helena Tiberius Mabata > and as such you were decomissioned
Francheska Cloverly > like i said ASS go to low sec with your crap
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Rand en Chasteaux for your bot aspirant deeds your special edition frigate was decomissionedIsolated communities are known to develop their own dialects. Helena could barely understand them, which made her worry the miners might not be able to understand her. So she spoke in the universal language of EVE: violence.
Ananiell > fuck off
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Wohoo my first bingo square of the day
Ananiell > This is our system, and we're drip
Helena Tiberius Mabata > im afraid highsec belongs to James 315 and the New Order, not this so called drip
Ananiell > Our system is ... here we dig .. clear to you?
Helena Tiberius Mabata > you dig?
Helena Tiberius Mabata > Cala Wrynnn your imicus was forcibly decomissioned for failing to be in compliance with the new halamia CODE of Conduct and the laws of HighsecNews of CODEdot's big tournament win has gotten around. Carebears are very upset that the New Order didn't disappear afterward. Maybe they assumed we would want to retire on top. Not quite. The New Order's plan is to remain on the top of EVE, permanently. So far, so good.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > please remember a permit before sitting AFK outside of stations again
Caius Sivaris > tell me about your tournament run Helena
Helena Tiberius Mabata > we won the tourny by defeating 2 teams before they even recieved their ships, and made history during the aftermath. Were like rockstars
Helena Tiberius Mabata > with nuetron blasters
Caius Sivaris > rpfags are so annoying
shadowg0d > lol u tried to tank me while im afkHelena was very satisfied with what she was able to accomplish in a short time, but there's always more work to be done.
Helena Tiberius Mabata > that was a warning shot
shadowg0d > k dumbass bring it
shadowg0d > fa da police
shadowg0d > aint need no permit bitch
Helena Tiberius Mabata > You are merely misguided, no carebear slips so deep they cannot be saved
shadowg0d > carebear my ass hooker ima hauler
shadowg0d > i float where im needed
Helena Tiberius Mabata > the wall of lies a carebear surrounds themselves with is reinforced with misguided emotions, and thicker than the armor plates that protect agents from harm
shadowg0d > well i am mexican so.........
Our Agent reviewed her killmails and solemnly reflected upon the fact that without her intervention, those players never would have experienced any real EVE gameplay. They might've learned more calculus, though.
One gank recipient put a 50 million isk bounty on Helena instead of buying a 10 million isk permit. On second thought, before these carebears start learning calculus, maybe they should master arithmetic?