MinerBumping.com

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Kills of the Week

It's that time again! Let's take a look at what happened to some people who were caught in highsec without a New Order permit during the week of July 28th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 3rd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

Spacey Smurf, like so many other carebears, didn't spend much time on his mining ship's tank. He fit for yield instead. Or did he? No, he dropped one of the two highslots available for mining lasers, in favor of a salvager. Then Agent Gaylord Fappington showed up, and suddenly it was the wreck of Spacey Smurf's Retriever that needed salvaging!

KILLMAIL

The pod of the week goes to VFS KNIGHT's 1.9 billion isk pod. KNIGHT learned what a real Knight is when Agent Temporary Amnesia destroyed his Hulk and sent him home on the pod express.

After a Brave Newbies Inc. FC passed along some carebear killmails, Pannax Ni got us up to speed on some of Fweddit's recent adventures...

KILLMAIL

It wasn't from this week, but Kassandra Regyri's 1.8 billion isk Orca loss probably still stings--along with the 1.8 billion isk pod. Pannax Ni is what we call "favored by the stars": He got the killing blow on the Orca and got the pod.

KILLMAIL

Meanwhile, Agent Ophidia Black alerted me to the death of Michael Geezy's 434 million isk Venture, killed courtesy of Dana Walker. Though a lowsec kill, Geezy's abomination could point toward a trend of bot-aspirant Venture pilots. Be on your guard, Agents.

KILLMAIL

Graadul was just autopiloting through highsec without a license. No harm, right? Surely Agent D400 was just being cruel by taking a hard line on the Code? Not on your life. D400 is a seasoned professional and knows exactly what he's doing. We've already seen the pod of the week, so what could be the meaning of this? Take a look:

KILLMAIL

Feast your eyes. It's not the pod of the week; it's the pod of the century. You know, we in the New Order are a generous bunch. We own highsec, but we're willing to share. We've withheld nothing. We let people jump through our stargates, dock in our stations, and mine in our systems. We only ask that you follow our rules, show respect to our Agents, and pay 10 million isk for a permit. If you refuse, you have no one to blame but yourself for the consequences.

One Hundred Eleven Billion in Shares Sold

I hope you like ones and zeros, because we've got a whole lot of 'em today. With over 111,000 New Order shares sold, we've passed the 111 billion mark. Congrats! Pestario Vargas earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for his purchase of 100 shares, which sent us over the line. However, as happens on rare occasions, the person who transferred the isk wished to remain anonymous, asking that the shares be gifted to Pestario. A Supreme Protector's Covert Nod of the Head™ is awarded to the mysterious benefactor.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Do You Have What It Takes?

So, you think you're cut out to be an Agent of the New Order, eh? Let's find out.

Every Agent-aspirant should know that it's not a job for the fainthearted. There are no floaters in the New Order. The entire EVE community will either love you or hate you.

If you're going to rule highsec, you need to understand the people you're ruling. You need to make personal connections with them. Highsec is a family.

When you become an Agent, you'll have the most powerful team in highsec behind you. Don't be afraid to draw upon their resources to help you get the job done.

As the Father of the New Order and Saviour of Highsec, I'm the second-most famous player in EVE. Everybody knows me. If you become an Agent, a lot of people will know you, too. Don't worry if you don't recognize everyone who knows you. It's their job to refresh your memory.

Agents represent the accumulated body of all knowledge and wisdom in highsec. People will ask you a lot of questions, and they won't wait in line to ask you one at a time. Learn to multitask. Drag-and-drop character names into local chat to engage in multiple conversations simultaneously.

Every question or argument that a miner comes up with has an answer. You don't have to go far to find it: All the answers are always found in the Code.

When you're enforcing the Code in a system, everything--every conversation, every person's comments in local--they all revolve around you. Like a star, an Agent is the center of the solar system.

Don't be put off your guard when you encounter miners who think they know more about the New Order than you do. You're the expert; they expect you to correct them.

Remind the rebel carebears how beneficial and compassionate the New Order is. They won't admit it, but they find it comforting to know that they're being defeated by the good guys.

The New Order is a welcoming bunch. We gain power by inviting people in, not excluding them. This is what distinguishes us from other elite PvP outfits. However, it's still important for new members to make a clean break with their dark past.

The New Order is never arrogant. We're on good terms with the lowsec, nullsec, and wormsec communities. We merely expect members of those other communities to respect our laws when they come into our territory.

When a rebel encounters the New Order, they experience something like the five stages of grief. First comes the denial and the anger, both of which are readily apparent. Don't forget to watch for signs that the rebel's attitude is softening--that they admit there is some good in what we do. When you see that, you're within striking distance of recruiting a new Agent of your own!

Friday, August 2, 2013

The Redemption of Capt Lynch

Capt Lynch is a name that any long-time reader of MinerBumping will recognize instantly. During the first few months of our existence, Lynch was among the most famous enemies of the New Order. He claimed that his brother had been unfairly treated by one of our Agents, but the entire story turned out to be a lie. His encounters with our Agents (which usually involved getting him tangled in his own lies) and his subsequent fury at seeing them written about on MinerBumping, became the subject of even more posts.

The Lynch situation escalated to its highest point when he began attacking the New Order on EVE-O. He claimed to be suffering from suicidal thoughts--a claim which he then quickly retracted. Later, Lynch reported that CCP had gotten the local police to visit him at home in response.

On occasion, however, Lynch's relations with the New Order thawed a bit. Anslo, leader of the infamous "Proveldtariat" resistance movement (recapped in a recent post) inadvertently alienated Lynch when trying to recruit him, thus forming the basis of an uneasy Lynch-Order axis against the Proveldtariat. Ultimately, however, Lynch cut his ties with the New Order and disappeared, not to be heard from again. Until now.

The New Order community was stunned to learn that Capt Lynch received a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ when he purchased a billion isk worth of shares.

In Kamio, a Catalyst piloted by Lynch crept toward an unsuspecting miner. What was going on?

An hour later, the miner's wreck and the presence of Concord suggested a startling answer to that question.

A Retriever had been cut down in the middle of an ice anomaly, guilty of violating the Code. Both Capt Lynch and a member of New Order Logistics were on the killmail.

Like I always say, I'm not in the business of rescuing 51% of highsec. We don't pick and choose which people we want to save. We're here for the whole enchilada: every man, woman, and child in highsec.

Capt Lynch proudly declared himself an Agent of the New Order and threatened to gank anyone who didn't own a mining permit.

Lynch claimed to have an appetite for suicide ganking. He proved it when, lacking another gank ship in station, he used a Talos to pop a Retriever. It was untanked and vulnerable to a solo Catalyst, but Lynch was in a hurry, so he didn't mind using bigger guns.

His fondness for supersizing Code enforcement was also on display when he brought out his bumping Machariel.

Lynch was unimpressed by the local rebels. He knew their tactics well. He knew they didn't work.

You know what does work? The New Order, the Code, and the pride that comes with serving the legitimate government of highsec.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #37

Hello! For those of you just joining us, yes, this is actually the thirty-seventh edition of the Grab Bag of miscellaneous miner tears. It's not just a random number I put at the end of the post title. Look it up.

It's true, I have a plan for all the highsec miners. It may not be a plan that everyone is happy with, but it's definitely a plan.

Speaking of which, all highsec is buzzing about the tragic fate that befell Carbuilder Hemah. When a hero appears in a MinerBumping post, it's a triumph. When a villain appears in a MinerBumping post, they've usually hit rock bottom.

How can you tell the difference between a true Agent of the New Order, and an impostor? It's easy: You'll know them by their actions. If they stand up for the Code, they're the real deal.

Another success story! It's always worth your time to send a follow-up EVEmail to the miners that you gank.

Some carebears say that I'm a bully, while others suggest that I'm the victim of bullying. Or maybe highsec miners just like saying the word "bully".

Every so often, our Agents come across a miner who is too confused to be understood. In these cases, it's usually best to bump or gank them. Like hitting an old TV set on its side, the picture may clear up.

Peer pressure is real. If anyone in your corp is making you feel uncomfortable about your commitment to the Code, it's time to change corps. After awoxing them, that is.

Agents of the New Order are your friends. They're there to help you. But they're also the authority. Please remember to treat them with respect at all times.

Spoiler alert, I never responded to Apocalypse Box's request. It sounded too much like mission-running. I don't carry out missions assigned by NPCs; I carry out missions assigned by my conscience.

Thousands of Code-compliant miners are thrilled by the results they've gotten after acquiring mining permits. If everyone who was happy and successful owned a permit, wouldn't you buy one?

This was Keathon Pares's response to Agent Galaxy Pig's helpful post-gank EVEmail. I ask you, how does someone write that and think, "Yeah, this message is ready for the 'send' button"?

For at least the last year, there has been an exodus of PvE'ers moving from nullsec back into highsec. They're often in a bad mood for some reason, so I always try to show them some love.

Former nullsec'ers may snap at you, but they'll learn. There's only one authority in highsec, and it ain't on the sov map.

Top Supporters for July 2013

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, and June top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for July 2013:

TOP SUPPORTERS
July 2013