Over Four Hundred Seventy-Nine Billion in Shares Sold

In an uncertain market--and you can never be sure whether or not the market is uncertain--people can still trust the value of New Order stock. It's worth one million isk per share, now and forever. It's no wonder, then, that more and more people are choosing to invest in New Order shares. Why take a gamble with in-game isk?

The Conference Elite continues to be a responsible corporate citizen. With 315 additional shares, courtesy of Samantha Ivainesu, TCE caused us to pass the 463 billion isk mark. TCE earned a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ by proxy. Again.

Lynne Ekanon is the latest to join our ranks. Lynne bought 1,000 shares, sending us over the 464 billion isk mark and earning a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Democracy is super important. The New Order is EVE's most perfect democracy, as its leader (yours truly) took power in a free, fair election. Carlvagio understands all this, and it led him to the conclusion that it was time to buy more shares. His purchase of 15,000 additional shares sent us over the 465, 466, 467, 468, 469, 470, 471, 472, 473, 474, 475, 476, 477, 478, and 479 billion isk marks.

Impressive! Carlvagio earned New Eden's first Fifteen...uple? Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Carlvagio is one of our top shareholders. Yet each and every isk counts (as long as it's over a million isk). Take Jessica Dune, for instance. She owns 60 shares, worth a total of 60 million isk. Her story, her path to shareholdership, is just as important as any other.

It started off innocently enough, with her ship being tackled in a wormhole and held for ransom by one of our Agents.

Our hero, ggnoreTT offered to let Jessica go for 60 million isk. She paid, so he let her go. Toggling off a warp disruptor isn't the only way to let someone go; you can also release the warp disruption by destroying their ship. This was the option ggnoreTT chose.

Happily, Jessica was fully reimbursed. You don't need to be cutthroat and competitive to succeed in business. Sometimes a solution can be found that works to everyone's advantage. The New Order is good at business and spreading happiness. We're up to 479 billion. We could cross the half-trillion mark any day now!

The Big One

During this, the "New Order era" of EVE, there have been many attempts by carebears to create anti-Order rebellions. So far, all of the resistance movements have been small and short-lived. But the New Order ganks tens of thousands of carebears, and we inflict many trillions of isk in damages. It has been theorized that all the small rebellions have been mere tremors, signs of the "Big One" to come. According to the theory, a rebel leader will eventually emerge who can unite the disparate carebears together into a singular, unstoppable force.

At last, Jessica Haynes stepped onto the stage. She made it her mission in life to bring together members of the different carebear professions and put a stop to the New Order. Her proposal was forwarded to numerous CEOs. The mailing list was impressive--it was a "Who's Who" of people I've never heard of.

This was it. The Big One. Jessica Haynes had studied the failed rebellions of the past and learned why they all failed. She promised the CEOs "a bright future for us all." New Order Intelligence intercepted the EVEmail. Agent loyalanon asked Jessica some pointed questions; he was concerned her plans might interfere with some provisions of the Code. Jessica responded:

Jessica's resistance movement faced its first test. For many carebears, the slightest interaction with an Agent of the New Order is very intimidating. They crawl back into their holes and go AFK. Jessica had gotten an EVEmail from loyalanon. Would she cancel her project?

She would not. In her inaugural EVEmail, she said she spoke not only for herself, but "for all that reside in [her] Corp." The Forerunner Protectorate held firm. Now it was time to wait and see whether the carebear CEOs would offer Jessica their support.

It didn't take long. Rebel leader Held der Finsternis was enthusiastic about the project. He was willing to provide the resistance with some heavy-duty infrastructure, which was badly needed.

However, Held der Finsternis' offer came with some strings attached. It was time for Jessica Haynes to make her first big decision as the leader of the rebellion.

Jessica suggested a compromise. She was willing to provide Held der Finsternis total access to her private communications, but not to her finances. Nor was she willing to step aside as the CEO of the Forerunner Protectorate.

...which was probably just as well, since Held der Finsternis' credentials as an anti-Order rebel leader were a bit sketchy.

CODEdot declared war against the Forerunner Protectorate. Jessica fled to lowsec, seeking refuge. She was pursued and shot down. The New Order's goal is to save highsec, but we don't believe in allowing our enemies to have a safe haven during wartime. That would be crazy.

After two grievous losses totaling over 56 million isk, the Forerunner Protectorate was tapped out. They were ready to call it quits.

Jessica continued to speak for all who resided in her corp. However, after less than a week into the project, the number of people who resided in her corp was zero. The big rebellion of all the carebears had come and gone. Everyone in highsec who values civilization breathed a sigh of relief.

Why did the rebellion fail? It's simple, really. Jessica Haynes promised the carebears a "bright future". There's only one organization who can make that promise, and it's the New Order of Highsec. We have a monopoly on bright futures.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #66

Uh oh, that can only mean one thing... It's time for yet another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Ladies and gentlemen, Ledrian Saisima: Super Spy.

A lot of people spend a lot of time talking about the treatment of "new players", but what about new Agents, such as Agent Reginald Poppycock? If people block them, they're less likely to be socially engaged, and possibly CCP loses money.

Fortunately, no one really blocks you in EVE.

Carebears frequently misspell the same words in the same way. For instance, what Daaga Ronin meant to say was, "Your Saviour is da man."

Notorious comment troll Veers Belvar is too sophisticated to call the New Order a bunch of Nazis. Carefully tiptoeing around Mr. H, Veers compared us to other historical "content creators". This may be our first Jack the Ripper comparison. In fairness, it was carebear Dream Five who wrote in the bio of one of her alts that we should stop ganking and start murdering strippers in real life.

...and she continues to haunt the CAOD subforum.

In all seriousness, I hope Dream Five doesn't quit. She still owes us a bunch of money for mining permits.

Being a GM must be so difficult in this game. Did Samanops make a real-life threat or a weather forecast?

A bit of explanation may be required here. A miner named Morris Better lost his ship. Instead of accepting responsibility for the loss, he put the blame on a fellow named Norek Crendraven--and everyone who was in Norek's mining fleet at the time. Morris then began writing an EVEmail to send to all the miners.

...and over the course of writing said EVEmail, Morris had a bit of a breakdown.

Paradoxically, the guy who "can't play his game" due to having his mining ship ganked, is now supposed to be powerful enough to intimidate everyone.

So far, Morris has received 0 isk. Smart miners know they only need to pay 10 million isk per year, and to the proper authorities.

The catastrophically successful freighter-ganking campaign of October 2014 has opened a lot of people's eyes. In time, the light of the Code will shine so bright, people won't be able to ignore it even with their eyes closed.

Kills of the Week

The Code, at its core, is about truth. The New Order, which upholds the Code, is therefore also about upholding the truth in highsec. This is a valuable service indeed: Highsec is filled with rumors, lies, and myths. Let us take this opportunity to examine some of the myths busted by the New Order during the week of October 26th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 1st @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

The New Order doesn't kill incursion runners, right? Wrong. Yamamoto Osu found this out the hard way. His 1.9 billion isk Machariel went up in smoke when he was caught tapping the isk faucet that is the highsec incursion. If you can believe it, Yamamoto didn't even have a permit! Agents loyalanon, Zane Arnolles, Mildron Klinker, iZaEaRl, Walter Kramer, John E Normus, Jorge Chelien, Lino Crendraven, Elpidio Mileghere, Pedrinho Orlenard, Teodoro Annages, Sophia Soprano, Aloisio Deninard, Szandor Aldent, Pio Tivianne, Modesto Andedare, and Feliciano Antollare gently reminded him of his obligations--which he implicitly agreed to when he entered my territory.

KILLMAIL

wazupbulldog's cheap little Venture was popped by Agent Super Perforator. The miner lacked a permit. Was this another case of the New Order bullying "new players"? I suppose that depends on what you mean...

...Because this "new player" has been playing EVE for more than 10 years. There are EVE players who haven't even been alive that long. (Most are highsec miners, although I suppose even a 9 year-old child would soon tire of it.)

KILLMAIL

Holland Zellder strongly believed in the importance of a large cargohold. He wasn't so convinced about the usefulness of a strong tank. With three anti-tanking cargo mods, he was ready to haul around his bulky cargo...

...Three blueprints, worth 4.4 billion isk. Holland lost over 10 billion isk that day, but at least he had plenty of room in his ship. One of the many great things about a New Order mining permit is that it doesn't take up any space. Agents loyalanon, Aaaarrgg, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, John E Normus, Formerly Known AsAC, Rick Therapist, ELicken, Haleuth, 290xanaots, Letifer Ostus, Walter Kramer, Mildron Klinker, Koz Katral, Gunther Cucs, Zombiepilot, Gallie Crendraven, Gohman Patrouette, Quaker Oatmeal, Martyr Oira, Myd'raal, and Brutal Anna were responsible for this lovely kill.

KILLMAIL

Gold Lotus had a dark secret hidden inside her Mackinaw: Snakes! She probably thought she'd need the extra speed when she left highsec one day. But like many highsec miners we encounter, that day never came. She was fully bot-aspirant by the time Agent Xia Absent found her. With the expensive implants out of the way, Gold Lotus is free to make a fresh start.

KILLMAIL

I was given this killmail late, but it was worth the wait. Viktor Stalberg was AFK autopiloting in an octuple-anti-tanked industrial ship. What could go wrong? A lot, as it happens. Agent Zasar destroyed the ship, along with its 1.3 billion isk cargo. Included in the cargo were 301 cloaking devices. What was he trying to hide?

SoSB Interstellar corporation is one of the thousands of highsec corps that takes anybody, even new players. According to the corp's website (which is a Google Docs slide show) they don't even demand money from their members. Still, one must wonder if SoSB Interstellar provides the kind of New Player Experience (NPE) that leads to player retention and more money for CCP. What does the corp offer? For one thing, the CEO, Euclideus Pythagoras, gives the miners free Orca bonuses.

Agents Asph Asph and Erical Ph came for the mining op--and stayed for the Orca killmail. Now that's what I call a New Player Experience!

SoSB Interstellar may still need to "perfect" its recruitment policies. On the other hand, they could always cry to CCP for invulnerability. Once awoxing is removed from highsec, I'm sure corps like SoSB Interstellar will be able to teach new players the excitement of AFK mining--without having to worry about things like spaceship combat and guns and explosions (which I'm told new players hate). On the other hand, perhaps what the carebears think new players want is, in fact, yet another myth.

The Passion of the Bacon

Earlier this week, the CSM minutes disclosed CCP's plan to remove all awoxing/safaris from highsec. I wrote a blog post about the change and included relevant exchanges between CSM members and CCP employees. As you can see from the minutes, the person most opposed to the nerf was DJ FunkyBacon, the CSM member I endorsed for CSM9.

FunkyBacon has been playing EVE for more than a decade and has been a well-known DJ for Eve Radio since 2006. His show on Eve Radio runs on the Friday evening/Saturday morning timeslot. As you might imagine, he had a lot to say this week when he took to the airwaves. The EVE community is abuzz about FunkyBacon's impassioned--sometimes very loud--rant about the removal of awoxing/safaris.

In an impromptu "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" moment, FunkyBacon spoke for a half-hour about the state of EVE and the direction CCP has been taking the game. As a CSM member, FunkyBacon has a level of access to CCP that the rest of us do not, so it's worth paying attention. You'll find that his observations closely mirror the things I have been saying for a few years now.

To listen to a recorded stream of FunkyBacon's show, you can go to the Eve-Radio Rewind page and scroll down to the FunkyBacon show marked Saturday 00:00 1st of November 2014. Or you may load the stream by inputting the http://rewind.gamingradio.net/playlist/ERP_FunkyBacon_2014-10-31-2359.m3u referral into a media player such as VLC.

FunkyBacon's co-hosts kicked off the show; the man himself doesn't appear until roughly the 17-minute mark, which is when the discussion of awoxing begins. (As this is a stream, you may not be able to jump or fast forward directly to that point in the recording. As an alternative, you can increase the playback speed and slow it back down when you reach 17 minutes.)

It's always a pleasure to hear from people who care more about the quality of the game than the amount of money CCP is making from it.

UPDATE: FunkyBacon wrote his thoughts on this subject on his blog. It's worth a read.

Top Supporters for October 2014

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, and September top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for October 2014:

TOP SUPPORTERS
October 2014


#1. The Conference Elite
6,200,000,000 isk


#2. Permabanned Heroes of the Code
4,100,000,000 isk


#3. Super Perforator
3,315,000,000 isk


#4. Matrea D
2,500,000,000 isk


#5. Bing Bangboom
2,000,000,000 isk


#5. Fighter Jets GuitarSolo
2,000,000,000 isk


#7. Mistrum Ridcully
1,882,000,000 isk


#8. Rouge Drex
1,500,000,000 isk


#9. Hannibal Crusoe
1,100,000,000 isk


#10. Just Got OutOfJail
1,030,000,000 isk
October was a very big month for the New Order. Our Treasury swells with pride. Can anyone deny that the ranks of the New Order are filled with the most generous players in EVE? We even take new players--I read somewhere that those are the best kind. Join us, kill carebears, save highsec.

Over Four Hundred Sixty-Two Billion in Shares Sold

The only thing better than finishing a month strong, is starting one strong. Siegfried Cohenberg got November off to a good start by purchasing 1,315 shares in the New Order. This sent us over the 462 billion mark and earned Siegfried a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

I couldn't quite tell from the message attached to the transfer, but I believe the isk used to purchase these shares came as a result of Agent BeBopAReBop RhubarbPie & friends' recent ganking spree. They killed Orcas and more Orcas, freighters and more freighters. Such ships drop loot which can be used to continue the highsec circle of life. Agent loyalanon has trained them well!