Friday, September 4, 2015

The Pragmatist

The New Order is all about helping people realize their full potential.


Consider Agent Alt 00, who began life as a mere placeholder alt destined for an eternity of sitting in Jita 4-4. When she found the Code, it changed her--turned her into something special. You might look at someone named "Alt 00" and assume they're nothing more than a cynically named bot-aspirant. But when you look at Alt 00's artwork, quite a different picture is painted...


I always laugh when rebel carebears accuse the New Order of being a cult. Actually, we're about as grounded and down-to-earth as it gets. In "The Pragmatist", Alt 00 captures this beautifully. We really are motivated by pragmatism, which is to say we're in favor of ideas that work. For many years, highsec tried isk-driven bot-aspirancy and anarchy. It didn't work. Now highsec operates according to the Code and is led by a Supreme Protector. And you know what? It's working!



In "Love and Friendship", we see a relaxed, approachable Saviour of Highsec casually chatting with some random Agents about current events.



"The Presence of the New Order" presents a message of unlimited hope. Imagine a day when the highsec miners can hardly undock without running into a storm of Catalysts. Infinite content.

Thank you so much for sharing, Alt 00.


BONUS!

The education of highsec's carebears continues. Agent Bellatrix Invicta has been making some recordings for the recipients of Catalyst-supplied content.


The latest recording instructs miners how to keep their barges and exhumers safe in fast-paced modern highsec. Tranquil music plays in the background, hopefully assisting miners to calm down. They need all the help they can get.

Permanent links to all Agent artwork can be found on the Links page.

Over Seven Hundred Forty-One Billion in Shares Sold

Another ordinary day in the New Order of Highsec...


What explains my popularity? It's simple. If you put good into the universe, you get good back. That's what I do. Always have. On that note, let's talk about money.

infame plaisir is a lucky one, or has a decent sense of timing: With a purchase of 40 shares, infame earned a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ by nudging us past the 739 billion isk mark. Well played.

Zura Namee is another new shareholder, but chose to make a bigger splash. His first-time purchase of 2,000 shares put us over the 740 and 741 billion isk marks and earned him a coveted Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Highsec's karmic cycle continues. Care to join in? You'll be rewarded.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Hitting the Bullseye

Meet James Bullseye. He's a Hungarian EVE player who has spent the last seven years attempting to master the art of highsec mining. He's not quite there yet.
Bumperina > James Bullseye gf
James Bullseye > What was good about it and why?
Bumperina > you were caught illegal mining in James 315 space
James Bullseye > Illegal mining?
James Bullseye > Wtf?
James Bullseye > We are in freakling high sec
Agent Bumperina conducted a surprise inspection of the Waskisen system and tested Bullseye's tank. It was a short test with a definitive result.
Bumperina > you had no permit, read the code: http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
James Bullseye > What code man concord rules here
James Bullseye > You should be shot at
James Bullseye > Bought a kill right on me just beacuse i mining?
James Bullseye > I see that now
James Bullseye > Jackasses
James Bullseye > Minerbumberp moms are stretwalkers
James Bullseye > street*
EVE's learning curve is such that even after seven years, players can still discover new aspects of the game. You might not like what you find, though.
Bumperina > miner calm down
James Bullseye > Shut the fuck up!
James Bullseye > I only will calm when i have your head next to my feet!
Chet Anzomi > 10 mil would help lower your blood pressure when your rig gets 'sploded
James Bullseye > Go fuck yourself somewhere else.
James Bullseye > If you continue this i have to report you dor harassment anmd see how is your smile goes
Waskisen, normally a sleepy little system, began to light up with activity in local chat.
James Bullseye > Very funny.
James Bullseye > So youz you guys sooo coll got the balls to shoot defenselees miners huh?You guys are that cool..
Milenny > James Bullseye , what ya lose anyway?
James Bullseye > Lost a retriver.
Milenny > oh, that it?
James Bullseye > For those pirates
The New Order wins more hearts and minds each day. Highsec dwellers only need to look at the contrast between Agents and carebears. The battle is won instantly.
Chet Anzomi > Not that I expect you to understand atm, since you are still spinning from your recent loss. BUT, one of the main things that the group Bumperina belongs to does is help keep down the number of bots.
Chet Anzomi > Before that group came around, these 'skies' used to have their fields cleared out within an hour or two of server reset by mining bots.
James Bullseye > I'am not fucking bot
James Bullseye > I care not about bots and neither of their ship losses.
Chet Anzomi > Then, you can't expect them to care about our ship losses then.
Interestingly, Agent Bumperina didn't even need to say much. The locals did a lot of the work for her.
Yumm Lightyear > 10 mill is nothing, especially over a year, and if it funds bot clearing, I'm all for it
Chet Anzomi > Look at it like the taxes you pay to the government to take away your garbage at the street side.
James Bullseye > Pffu
James Bullseye > I don't pay them this is some kind of mAffia corp if you don't pay us then you better die.Fuck you better die all in your corp i just you guys wish in that code allieance that you should not born.
...and James Bullseye did the rest of the work.
Milenny > you raging just now is the best part tho
James Bullseye > I not mad.Do you guys really want me to be mad?
James Bullseye > Who want to fleet up against the kode?
James Bullseye > Who have been shoot?
James Bullseye > It is a bully corp.
Bumperina > don't be James Bullseye Kill: James Bullseye (Retriever) buy your permit now
James Bullseye > Makes me feel like i want to curt heads off.Just like that.
Talk about not being able to read a room! After making a spectacle of himself in local, Bullseye tried to rally a fleet of local miners together. He didn't manage to get any volunteers. Meanwhile, the New Order is steadily gaining more Agents. It's no wonder that highsec is becoming more Order-ly with every server tick.

He's Still Not Banned Yet?

It's the ancient dream of the bot-aspirant carebear.


Since the very beginning, miners have longed for the day when the Saviour of Highsec would be permabanned for the crime of disrupting their "gameplay".


Carebears can't make things happen; they're too passive. The next best thing is to imagine that they've already gotten what they want.


...Then comes the inevitable disappointment.


For the carebear who thinks it's against the EULA to shoot someone in highsec, it's quite difficult to understand why the New Order hasn't been punished yet.


Then again, the rebels have never been able to get much of an understanding of who we are and what we do.


Ironically, we're the most transparent organization in EVE. We're not exactly shy or secretive about our purpose in the game. You can read the Code--you can read all about us! Sadly, too many carebears choose ignorance. Far from blissful, their lack of knowledge is costly and painful. Keep giving 'em the Code, though. They'll thank you eventually.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Goofus Meets Gallant

As the power of the New Order grows, so too does the number of Code-compliant miners. Thousands of highsec miners own permits. The rebels don't like this, so when they encounter permit-owners, they encourage their fellow miners to forsake the Code. For the rebels, it's not about shutting off a revenue stream to the New Order; they're worried about our regime taking root and gaining legitimacy.


Though rebels often float the idea of ganking permit-owners, it's far too much effort. They attempt to use peer pressure instead.


Roniin Makami came across Lunar Glow, a proud, permit-carrying miner. He was so outraged by her bio that he invited her to a private convo to talk about it.


Roniin made some standard rebel arguments for not buying a permit. First, he asserted that permit-owners are targeted by the very Agents who sell them permits. Second, he hinted that permits aren't worth it due to all of the miner gankers unaffiliated with the Order.


In truth, the New Order is responsible for nearly all miner ganks in highsec. After the great barge buff of 2012, miner ganking shrank to almost zero. We brought it back. And everyone knows that our gankers prefer to shoot rebels over permit-owners.


Roniin's ignorance showed. Mining permits cost the same today as they always have. They're ridiculously affordable.


Roniin declared that he was as safe from the New Order as the permit-owners. He'd never, ever, ever been ganked by us, and he never, ever, ever would be. He also insisted that he practiced "due diligence", keeping a sharp eye on local. Bold claims. Were they true? (Protip: Never trust a carebear.)


Roniin's bragging about "due diligence" didn't last very long. Almost immediately, he admitted that he AFK mines all the time.


In fact, Roniin greatly enjoys AFK mining. It didn't take much to get him talking about all the things he loves about it.


An irony presented itself: Roniin insisted that if Lunar Glow simply asked in local, she would hear all about how permit-owners get ganked. Yet Roniin himself was speaking to a permit-owner who said otherwise.


Roniin dismissed Lunar Glow's positive experiences with the New Order. She was only a newbie, Roniin said. Not a highsec expert like himself.


Lunar Glow did something shocking, something Roniin could never have expected: She asked for evidence. In theory, if hundreds of mean ol' New Order Agents are running amok across highsec, behaving in an unseemly manner, there should be plenty of proof. EVE players automatically log such evidence. Unfortunately, Roniin couldn't find any. His logs showed nothing.


Since he didn't have any logs to present, Roniin urged Lunar to listen to what people were saying about the New Order. He couldn't direct her to anyone in particular, other than himself. Lunar replied that she'd seen plenty of evidence of what really goes on in highsec on MinerBumping. However, Roniin was afraid to visit the blog. Everyone who reads it gets a computer virus.

On an unrelated note: Dear reader, you may have already won a free iPad. Would you like to know more?


Deeply frustrated by his inability to persuade Lunar to burn her mining permit, Roniin parted ways with her. He accused Lunar of being blind and ignorant and inexperienced--and that she knew too much. Carebear logic.


Lunar Glow promptly reported Roniin to the authorities. He'd confessed to AFK mining, after all. Although Roniin said he could never be ganked by the New Order, an Agent was dispatched and he met his fate within a few hours.

That's the problem with rebel miners trying to use peer pressure. They're not peers at all. Gallant miners are plainly superior.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

A Snowball's Chance in Highsec, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Harlequin Croft scored her first PvP victory, defeating Captain Flin-Flin's faction Vexor by hitting it with a bunch of snowballs. The carebear was stunned into silence. While Flin-Flin was still in a stupor, Harlequin podded him.


Harlequin celebrated her victory in local. Everyone was having great fun, with the possible exception of Flin-Flin. Carebears don't know how to have a good time.


Suddenly, our Agent received an EVEmail from the fallen foe. Flin-Flin still hadn't figured out what had gone wrong, and was dying of curiosity. He offered a bunch of money for answers about game mechanics. He didn't know that our Agents educate highsec all the time for free.


When Harlequin explained about the snowballs, Flin-Flin was disgusted. EVE wasn't the game for him. He threatened to quit, again.


Moments later, he sent Harlequin some money. It wasn't everything he owned, but it was enough for a mining permit. Had the Goofus gone Gallant?


The miner was hopelessly confused. He sent 10 million isk, but didn't want a permit. He sent the money because he lied, but wanted to keep his word. Or something.


Although it was difficult to untangle what the carebear was trying to say, one thing was clear: Flin-Flin had gotten the wrong idea about miners.


Flin-Flin refused to join the New Order because it "preys on the weak". He considered himself weak now. Interestingly, he hadn't shown any qualms about preying on the weak when he attacked Harlequin's virtually unarmed frigate.


In spite of everything, Harlequin was generous to the miner. She saved him the trouble of being scammed by mercenaries.


Flin-Flin desperately wanted revenge, but he was also desperately lazy.


Now the miner had, at long last, a goal for his EVE career. Either that or he was going to quit, or maybe just keep mining. Whatever.


Harlequin extended an invitation to join the New Order once more. Flin-Flin's instincts, which hadn't exactly served him well in the past, still told him to stay away.


Perhaps there was hope for the miner yet. He agreed to read this blog. It's hard for a carebear to read MinerBumping and remain ignorant, even if they want to.


A few minutes later, Flin-Flin sent an additional 5 million isk to Harlequin. Does he have a chance to succeed in EVE, at some point in the future? At least a snowball's chance, I'd say.

Top Supporters for August 2015

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for August 2015:

TOP SUPPORTERS
August 2015



#1. Luncapup
5,000,000,000 isk



#2. Bing Bangboom
3,000,000,000 isk



#2. em0
3,000,000,000 isk



#4. Aedan Tau
1,315,000,000 isk



#4. Dom Arkaral
1,315,000,000 isk



#6. Helena Ambramotte
1,000,000,000 isk



#6. Maximus Decimus Julii
1,000,000,000 isk



#8. Remiel Pollard
700,000,000 isk



#9. Zaenis Desef
500,000,000 isk



#10. Ben Li
315,000,000 isk


All in all, it was a great month for highsec. There was so much joy spread by the Agents of the New Order. Sadly, those carebears who refused to obey the Code were not able to share in the fun, and were the worse for it. But there's always next month!