Wednesday, June 5, 2019

A Frosty Reception, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Though his own misdeeds led to the destruction of his mining ship, Stephan Frost was enraged when he was ganked. Agents Galaxy Pig, Aiko Danuja, and Overmind Niminen created a task force aimed at persuading the miner to purchase a permit and obey the Code.


Stephan showed signs of being extremely biased against the Saviour of Highsec. No wonder the miner was so bad at EVE.


MinerBumping does not contain any viruses. If anything, it contains cures and medicines.


Though Stephan was angry and defiant, he was now surrounded by good influences. Maybe our Agents could slowly wear down his resistance.


One by one, our heroes dismantled the foul miner's arguments. Soon he wouldn't have any left.


Stephan reached a point of total despair. He knew there was no hope of fighting back against the Code. He decided that EVE was totally ruined.


...Or, at least, highsec was ruined. Maybe he could mine some ore in lowsec. Then again, he'd be forced to deal with the risk of losing another ship. Sigh...


Some rebels say that my Agents and I have had no impact on EVE. Others claim that I single-handedly destroyed the game. Both are wrong. By saving highsec, I have saved EVE Online.


Just when all hope was lost, Agent Overmind pulled a rabbit out of his hat. A Catalyst-shaped rabbit.


He behaved like a helpless newbie, but Stephan's character was actually a few years old and had the skills to pilot the Catalyst. Seemingly out of nowhere, he summoned the will to use the Catalyst, too.


Stephan joined a group of Agents and immediately ganked one of his fellow miners. Despite providing only 10% of the total damage, Stephan himself dealt the final blow. It was fate.


Stephan could no longer deny that the Code is a good thing. 'Tis a very good thing indeed!

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Ten Billion in Shares Sold

Let's start off the month with a new milestone. The New Order is good at milestones.

Vals Loeder joined the ranks of highsec's shareholders with her inaugural purchase of 100 shares. This took us past the 1,810 billion isk mark and earned Vals a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Vals' growth as an EVE player coincides with the New Order's growth as a highsec-saving entity. Excellent!


BONUS!

Every miner should know that it's essential to buy a mining permit.


This is not a mining permit.

Sidheag Ardra was ganked by Agent Pewierre Ellidiot Trudeau. Our Agent informed the miner that her permit was not genuine.


Sidheag replied in Czech:

"What the fuck do I have to say?"


Some people assume--not without reason--that Russians have a monopoly when it comes to non-English profanity. Not so.

"That's why I have motherfuckers there. I swear to all that is holy to me that if I ever meet you, I will cancel you that your own mom will not recognize you kriple fucking."


"I already bought my bitch license for that. Free ... And you have the calculated Ukrainian dirty dirt."

I think "Ukrainian dirty dirt" is Czech for Veldspar.


"I don't have a piss on you. Justice you NEMINE! And you're already going to the fucking fucking block."

Miners, don't be like Sidheag: Always make sure to buy your permit from a duly authorized Agent of the New Order!

Also, this may be a good time to mention that the Code is available in Czech.

Monday, June 3, 2019

A Frosty Reception, Part 1

You only have one chance to make a good first impression.


...And one chance is all our Agents need.


Stephan Frost was caught in the act of unlicensed mining and was punished accordingly. Despite his name, he was mining ore, not ice.


The Agents who brought Stephan to justice were Galaxy Pig, Aiko Danuja, and Overmind Niminen. (Yes, Overmind switched back to our side--again.) The three Agents inflicted their damage upon the Retriever almost evenly. Now the three would share responsibility for teaching the miner how to obey the Code.


Our heroes caught Stephan in a bad mood. He was having money problems, it seemed.


Considering that they only care about making isk, an awful lot of highsec miners are poor.


The Agents gave Stephan the chance to buy a mining permit. He absolutely refused. He claimed he would never pay. Our Agents were more optimistic about it.


Stephan was triggered by the name of the Saviour of Highsec. Something about it bothered him. There was a good chance that Stephan was a Goofus to the core. Our Agents had their work cut out for them.


Moreover, the miner showed signs of being an anarchist--and likely a nihilist, as well.


Stephan was a miner of the "I was going to pay, but now I won't" variety. But if he didn't even recognize highsec's ruler, why would he have paid, even if asked?


In situations where a miner genuinely lacks the money to pay for a permit, he should pay our Agents whatever he does have, and then get the rest as quickly as possible from a legal source (e.g. lowsec, borrowing from a friend if he has one, scamming in Jita, etc.).


The odds of getting this miner to buy a permit seemed remote. It was as if someone had poisoned him against the New Order--probably an anti-Code rebel of some sort. Was there any hope for Stephan?

To be continued...

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Kills of the Week

"How dare you pick on defenseless miners," scolds the anti-Code rebel. "They have no way to fight back." If so, then why don't they buy mining permits? If their situation is so hopeless, it makes no sense for them to resist the Code. Therefore, their resistance must be a result of their bot-aspirancy--which, in turn, justifies their destruction. Thanks for making our case for us, rebels.

Now let us look at some hopeless, helpless bot-aspirants from the week of May 26th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 1st @ 23:59 EVEtime...



gilgameash chose to put nearly 4 billion isk into her shuttle--all 527 hitpoints of it--and activated her autopilot. It sounds like a crazy decision, but it happens more often than you'd think. Agents like Eva Mavas instinctively gank every shuttle they see.


CCP made it so that PLEX can be teleported from station to station, so carebears need to prove their foolishness by losing items like skill injectors.



Denis Saltykov tanked up his freighter and stuck to the highest of high security systems. But there is no hull in highsec that our Agents cannot breach. Agents Jani Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Adara Gaea, Emily Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Globby Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Benji Rackner, and hegils formed a mighty fleet with 19 Taloses. The freighter could not survive their blaster cannons.



Since freighter pilots typically don't bother remaining at their keyboards during freighter runs anyway, why do they insist on saving time by moving everything in one trip? Talon Hawk Estidal packed up a 41.9 billion isk freighter and genuinely thought nothing bad would happen to him. That's Goblok logic!

Agents Silvitni, Origo Lim, Wotka, Lanse Lot, Dry Tears, Yojiro, Gandaraka Tekitsu, LordPepstores, K0mand0 Sperg, Tickle MaBalls, Matt18001, Kon Xanithex, Jake Kusion, Abella Andorra, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Terrance Lemmont, Urban Worrier, Justin Kusion, Mark Ormerant, Joseph Kusion, Z for Zena, Perlo Tissant, Jayson Kusion, Ren Sano, Toki Chince, Jason Kusion, Joel Kusion, Potential Impact, Johnathan Kusion, Disposable Cracker, Jackson Kusion, and Jason Yusi managed to field a staggering 32 Taloses in one gank fleet. Carebears, when you're staring down nearly three dozen tech II fit attack battlecruisers, it might be time to buy a mining permit. Think about it.



Zaqwest was, frankly, a typical hauler pilot. He had a paper-thin industrial ship--perfectly gankable by a single ganker--but didn't think twice about filling it with over 3 billion isk worth of cargo. He didn't bother fully equipping the ship, and he casually went AFK. He must be really busy with something, because he certainly doesn't put much time or thought into EVE. A single ganker, Agent Ariku Orenuk, had no trouble blapping the anti-tanked Tayra.



If you think Zaqwest was a one-of-a-kind oddball, think again. Laura Lovely Licks also lost a plain ol' hauler with billions worth of cargo. Incredibly, Laura crammed 8.8 billion isk of cargo into a Wreathe. Like Zaqwest, she got bored and stopped equipping her ship halfway through the job. Laura's wealth was destined to be blown up by someone far superior to her in every way: Agent Ksenya PROXY.



Remember when I said Agents like Eva Mavas shoot autopiloting shuttles on sight? Well, here's another reason why. ForeverBlue went AFK and autopiloted his shuttle, only to be popped by Agent Eva. ForeverBlue wasn't foolish enough to put cargo in his shuttle. Unless, that is, you count the shuttle's pod, which contained 2.6 billion isk worth of implants.


Whether these implants can be properly classified as "shuttle cargo" or not, they're gone now. If only ForeverBlue was smart enough to obey the Code.

Saturday, June 1, 2019

The Elonaya Conspiracy, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned was unstoppable. The Trade Syndecate's only hope was to enlist the support of nullsec. bgmc from the notoriously bot/RMT-friendly alliance Brothers of Tangra contacted Kalorned out of the blue and tried to win him over with flattery.


bgmc took a break from buttering up Kalorned. The nullsec diplomat turned serious.


bgmc wanted Kalorned and the rest of the New Order to leave The Trade Syndecate alone. But Kalorned had his principles--his Code.


The idea of encouraging The Trade Syndecate to comply with the Code didn't appeal to bgmc. Instead, bgmc simply gave up and disappeared. So much for powerful friends in nullsec.


Meanwhile, The Trade Syndecate's problems were growing worse. Inspired by Hero Of HiSec, Agent AGBee 001 started forwarding all of his killmails to The Trade Syndecate's CEO, Bladez Runner. He wanted Bladez to know what his anti-Code policies were costing the members of his corp.


The CEO took the unusual step of forwarding the messages to the entire corp.


In response, one of the more hawkish members of the corp--who would lose a Mackinaw of his own a few hours later--cried out for revenge. But was the corp ready for total war?

Bladez Runner now had a huge decision to make. For several hours, he carefully pondered his next step. Whatever he decided would have profound consequences for himself and his entire corporation.


He chose the path of retreat. Highsec mining was simply too risky.

It was a dark day for Bladez Runner and The Trade Syndecate. The corp's future didn't look very bright.


What The Trade Syndecate needed was a hero, a man on horseback who could lead them to victory. One of the corp's two new recruits, Greypses Foryuu, thought he knew just the person.


During a chat with the CEO, Greypses remembered a fellow veteran of Mission Ready Mining. He was someone of extraordinary talent and ability. Since Mission Ready Mining was defunct, he might be willing to trade in his MRMNG ticker for a TTS1 ticker--to join The Trade Syndecate.


The man of destiny was Energy Minx. And his credentials--according to his own bio, anyway--were impressive indeed. Bladez Runner asked Greypses to put him in contact with Energy Minx as soon as possible.


Greypses immediately arranged a private conversation between Energy Minx and Bladez Runner. But this was no ordinary job interview. Energy Minx was a person of such high caliber that he didn't need to prove himself to a prospective employer.


If anything, Energy Minx was interviewing Bladez Runner.

To be continued...

Top Supporters for May 2019

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2016, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2017, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2018, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2019, February, March, and April top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for May 2019:

TOP SUPPORTERS
May 2019



#1. Mycella Huren
28,000,000,000 isk



#2. Alexander Kirenski
2,051,000,000 isk



#3. Dragoncrusher Kei
1,300,000,000 isk



#4. Avaelica Kuershin
1,000,000,000 isk



#4. Brewlar Kuvakei
1,000,000,000 isk



#4. PI Tool1
1,000,000,000 isk



#7. Apo123
200,000,000 isk



#7. Arielle en Distel
200,000,000 isk



#9. YouKicked MyDog
150,000,000 isk



#10. Aphrodite Solette
50,000,000 isk

What a month, what a month! One look at this list tells you how serious the New Order is about saving highsec. The people demand action--and they're getting it. Wow!