Miners, Do Better

One of the most disappointing things about Code violators is that they're not nearly as cool as they ought to be.

Hecate pilot Han Sollow inexplicably went AFK near a highsec asteroid belt, forcing Agent Revis Owen to gank him.

To Agent Revis' disappointment, the carebear's bio sucked. On the other hand, Han belonged to a corporation called Forced Content, which hinted at a healthier philosophy about EVE.

Our Agent (whose bio, in contrast to Han's, was excellent) had high hopes for Han. Maybe the carebear would wish our Agent well, apologize, offer a sincere "gf", and buy a permit?

Revis' heart ached when he saw that Han merely uttered an empty threat like any other bot-aspirant miner in highsec.

As disillusioned as Revis was, Han insisted that he was for real. He would make good on his threat in a hurry.

Our Agent expressed his disappointment in Han's failure. Rather than being inspired to implement positive changes in his life, Han actually grew more angry.

Agent Revis was no longer an optimist where Han was concerned; he saw everything clearly. Yet Han continued to put up a false front.

In speaking with bot-aspirants, our Agents "meet them where they are". On the other hand, our Agents are also firmly grounded in facts, truth, and reality. This necessarily creates a divide between Agent and miner.

And people say highsec is easy.

Slowly but surely, Revis pulled on the threads of Han's cocoon of denial. He forced the carebear to admit he had been defeated. This is an important process, because otherwise gank recipients like Han end up writing anonymous comments to the effect of "Code has never ganked me and never will!"

Revis scored yet another victory against Han, easily eliciting a full and complete confession from the Code violator.

After their final exchange, Han recoiled from the light of truth and scattered into the darkness like an absolute Goofus. Still, Agent Revis knew that if there was any hope for Han at all, he'd helped the bot-aspirant take his first step toward compliance. Never again could Han go AFK without first contemplating the possibility that Revis would return. Our Agent changed Han's life for the better!

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Sixty-Eight Billion in Shares Sold

In the Code era, every day in highsec is a new adventure. And one of the most exciting adventures an EVE player can take: Buying shares in the New Order. For the sake of attracting new players to the game, CCP should highlight the shareholder experience on the EVE client splash screen. Or in new EVE advertisements and promotional material, if they make any.

Lyrialtus is one of our many satisfied investors. He decided to upgrade his holdings with a purchase of 1,000 additional shares, sending us to the 1,868 billion isk mark and earning him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. A fine way to start out the month.


BONUS!

As our readers know, Agent Alt 00 has been busy.

For this piece, you'll definitely want to view the full-size version.

Not to brag, but no fourth wall has been built that can block my penetrating gaze. At Alt 00's invitation, I have entitled this work "The Wreck Salvager". Of course, we know that it is the bot-aspirant miners themselves who are the true wrecks of highsec.

As always, you can view a gallery of our Agents' artwork on the Links page.

William's Rage, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... After a herculean effort, Agent Alt 00 managed to restore order to the Nakugard system. But when William Rageclaw learned of a MinerBumping series being posted about the incident, the New Order faced new threats from the rebel.

Hoping to negotiate a quick settlement, a diplomatic mission of highly trained Agents went to see William.

William was in no mood to negotiate--or so it appeared. Some Agents considered that perhaps the rebel leader was using hardball tactics.

William signaled that he was unwilling to participate in any further negotiations. But when William began spamming the comments section of various MinerBumping posts, our Agents got an idea.

They had a challenge for William.

The proposal was simple: Walk a mile in an Agent's shoes. William was invited to engage in the activities of a typical Agent of the New Order. The Agents strongly felt that if William could see life in highsec from their perspective, he would change his mind about the Code. Though skeptical, William knew that he had not yet experienced every corner of the EVE sandbox, so he accepted the challenge.

So what do the Agents of the New Order do? A lot of things. From the time he'd spent in other games, William realized what he'd been given: It was a quest.

William went hunting for an AFK miner with a bot-aspirant fit. The Agents had told him that highsec was filled with such villains. Were they telling the truth? It didn't take the questing knight long to find one. When he did, he ganked it.

William did not hesitate to open fire on the Venture; nor did he feel remorse about the gank. He could see that the miner was not making a good faith effort to play EVE. The gank was deserved.

Each moment that passed confirmed what William already suspected: The miner was deeply AFK. Shaking his head, he sent the Venture pilot a copy of the Code. William had seen that the Agents were not lying about what was going on in highsec. But would he feel differently the next day?

Having ganked a Venture, William developed a curiosity about the taste of bigger prey. But to destroy a beastly Orca would require much greater firepower. So William got himself into a gank Talos and joined a whaling fleet. They succeeded in taking down a billion isk Orca.

William continued his quest. Eager to try his hand at selling a mining permit, he got his chance when Agent Guybertini ganked an unlicensed Mackinaw. The miner spoke only Russian, so William had to improvise.

Permit sold.

Agents of the New Order are invariably well-rounded individuals; they're Renaissance men and women. William had done well in combat and permit-selling--could he succeed in the arts?

The former rebel allowed his creative juices to flow.

The quest had left William a changed man. He had discovered a good many things about the Code--and the Code was a good thing indeed. Among its many virtues: The CODE always wins. Always!

William's Rage, Part 7

Previously, on MinerBumping... William Rageclaw and Agent Alt 00 went head to head in a battle for the soul of the Nakugard system. The epic struggle culminated in the destruction of William's Kikimora, apparently paving the way to a bright future for all.

Despite the loss of his prized ship, William wasn't ready to call it quits just yet. For some reason, he remained unconvinced of the Code's goodness and/or truth.

Alt 00 was stunned by the lack of chivalry. She had earned a great victory; it was a time for celebrating, not petty quarreling. But William took his leave without offering a "gf".

As the threat of William's Rebellion passed from the system, life began to return to normal in Nakugard.

Now the New Order would rebuild. And teach. And grow.

To be sure, other miners would rebel. Unless they were willing to bring a Kikimora into the field, though, they posed less of a threat than William had. Our Agent was more confident than ever.

In most situations, Agent Alt 00 was able to defeat potential resistance leaders with a few words of wisdom. And there was another advantage to the post-William era of Nakugard:

Alt 00 had the Kikimora killmail to link as evidence of the Code's power. This sword could be unsheathed whenever our Agent felt the need.

And so it was that William's Rebellion passed into the pages of history. The matter was laid to rest.

...Or it would have been, if not for this guy.

Overmind Niminen, sometimes referred to as a "Schrödinger's Agent", has a convoluted history. His motives are often questioned--frequently by himself. Regardless of his intentions, the fact is that Overmind came into contact with William and informed him of the "William's Rage" series, which was being posted on MinerBumping.

This, in turn, eventually led to a lively comments section on many of our fair blog's posts.

William turned down Overmind's offer to sell him a mining permit. Instead, the anti-Code rebel would revisit his old enemies and renew the conflict with a new strategy.

A storm of controversy was brewing. And what happened next would take the highsec community by complete surprise.

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

We've come a long way, haven't we? In the beginning, the carebears said, "If we ignore all of those Code people, they'll go away." Now the carebears say, "Those Code people are making everyone quit the game." A false statement--but still progress. From the week of August 25th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 31st @ 23:59 EVEtime...

KILLMAIL

When bot-aspirants like Mia Katana stuff 7 billion isk into a Deep Space Transport, they raise a question: What's the difference between a blingy freighter and a blingy DST? The answer: Fewer Agents are required to successfully gank the DST. Nevertheless, Agents Miner Slayer, Ralliana, zjio1, MAGAMED maga, Luna Nightblood, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, zino4ka, and ZJIO brought in an impressive amount of firepower when they ganked Mia's Mastodon.

KILLMAIL

Apparently ee hunt felt a strong compulsion to remote-rep someone. But considering that he was in a 5.6 billion isk battleship, maybe ol' ee hunt should've been more concerned with his own reps. Agents Ukira Kunero, Rante Charante, Ariku Orenuk, and Vlada Inkunen had no trouble eliminating this carebear.

KILLMAIL

Some freighter pilots have caught on to the fact that autopiloting through places like Jita, Niarja, and Uedama means certain death. The Kusion family is on the prowl, after all. But the truth is that all of highsec is governed by the Code. Slick Bordello Pimpa was caught in a 12.8 billion isk freighter in the Anttiri system. If he'd been at his keyboard, he would've been shocked by the sight of a massive gank armada: Agents Jason Kusion, Unfit ForDoody, Climuns Hilitari, Jackson Kusion, Gandaraka Tekitsu, Jake Kusion, Open Your Heart, Hans Ferdeappel, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Magalaus Shardani, Maddie Mcbumplug, Loota'Plex, Johnathan Kusion, Icezzy Fire, Tickle MaBalls, Jonas Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Inspector Implant, Josh Kusion, Bob Painter, Lich Terminus, Michiko Ishikawa, Joshua Kusion, SynthiaGreey, Frozen Daiquiri, big brutor two, Jessie Kusion, Jack Kusion, George Painter, Jimmy Kusion, big brutor one, Bob Electrician, Dubious Anime Name, Bob Welder, Mjolnir Rage Torpedo, and iPreferPads.

*rattle*

KILLMAIL

Orca miners are never up to any good; they love being AFK too much to add value to our precious EVE. The exception is when they explode, as Amapola Azul did when she got ganked by Agents Luna Nightblood, Aiko Danuja, Alleil Pollard, Super Perforator, Ralliana, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, Miner Slayer, Archbald Skags, and Whadda Badasaz. Nice capacitor tank, dude.

KILLMAIL

grinduponher was a creature of rebellion: Unlicensed Hulk, yield fit, blingy strip miners--the whole nine yards. He only added to the list of his crimes when he decided to autopilot his blingy Hulk into the Niarja pipe. Talk about a recipe for disaster! Agents Narl' Amhar and Votre Dieu shot him down like he was a freighter.

KILLMAIL

Late last week, Mk 36 was caught autopiloting a naked hauler through highsec. A single ganker was all it took to collect the 1.8 billion isk killmail, and Agent Votre Dieu happily collected.

Ironically, this tank-averse carebear had an interest in Procurers--a mining ship known for its potential for tank. The only way to resolve this paradox is to understand that Mk 36 was a Goofus in every way.

Top Supporters for August 2019

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2016, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2017, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2018, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2019, February, March, April, May, and June, and July top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for August 2019:

TOP SUPPORTERS
August 2019


#1. William Rageclaw
1,566,000,000 isk


#2. Lyrialtus
1,000,000,000 isk


#3. Fiona Eto
315,000,000 isk


#4. Mikei Erata
300,000,000 isk


#5. Aiko Danuja
100,000,000 isk


#5. darkestkhan Eriker
100,000,000 isk


#7. karn Shazih
20,000,000 isk


#7. Revik Moon
20,000,000 isk


#9. Anduyn Helevorn
10,000,000 isk


#9. ice cutter
10,000,000 isk
Think about all of the good deeds that are done in highsec. You know, heroism comes in many flavors. But they all taste like the Code.