Previously, on MinerBumping... Imperium chief strategist aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was beset by financial woes and embarrassed by anonymous comments on MinerBumping posts. But through it all, he persevered.
aiva's otherwise dazzling résumé was blemished by his failure to recruit anyone into his highsec mining corporation. Members of aiva's council tried to coach him, but to no avail.
Although aiva wasn't a good corp recruiter, he was one heck of a strategist. He always managed to find an answer to the most insoluble problems.
...Provided he was supplied with sufficient data, of course.
In a matter of minutes, aiva managed to get the Goons out of another jam. Nevertheless, it wasn't in aiva's nature to be reactive; he preferred to initiate the action himself. And he had a new plan in the works:
The centerpiece of said plan was a fellow by the name of Sort Dragon.
Sort Dragon is--or was, at least--one of the most widely known nullsec leaders. For one thing, he is known for being a member of the CSM.
...But Sort Dragon is best known for his reliable treachery. Every year or two, news breaks on Reddit about Sort Dragon expectedly selling out his allies. To which the public replies, "Why are people still trusting Sort Dragon with things?"
Now aiva naali wanted to ride the tiger--to recruit Sort Dragon for some special mission.
Hopefully aiva knew what he was doing.
Someone like Sort Dragon doesn't just appear on command, though. aiva would only be able to open a channel of communication with the notorious nullsec leader by tapping his highest-level contacts.
Luckily, aiva's council was full of important people.
The game was afoot.
To be continued...
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
Monday, May 4, 2020
The Best Revenge, Part 62
Previously, on MinerBumping... Normalcy in post-civil war nullsec meant a lot of theorycrafting for aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years. Unfortunately, unwelcome realities like the need for more isk kept intruding upon aiva's happiness.
The simple fact was that aiva had high ambitions and expensive tastes. He wasn't content to mine in a highsec asteroid belt; he wanted to buy a titan, a Nyx, and a directorship in Goonswarm Federation. Even if that meant engaging in RMT in the other games aiva played.
Although aiva had briefly toyed with the idea of becoming EVE's richest player by manipulating the PLEX market, isk wasn't aiva's first love. He longed to focus on what he did best: war and the weapons of war.
BUT. THE. MONEY.
For now, aiva was allowing himself to fall behind on his payments. His high-level contacts in Goonswarm could only hope that aiva wasn't stringing them along.
aiva knew perfectly well that his late payments wouldn't go unnoticed. As time went on, he would run the risk of losing his chance to buy Imperium supercaps and director roles. Therefore, in the meantime, he needed to prove his worth to the Imperium in other ways.
No one studied EVE's game mechanics more intensely than aiva did. If he continued to provide valuable theorycrafting to the Imperium's leaders, perhaps they would cut him some slack on the money he owed.
Luckily for aiva, two new secret weapons were nearly ready for field testing: Dog Box and Jugernaught.
Project Jugernaught was a departure from aiva's usual preference for massive fleets. Instead, he would find the highest-quality pilots in the Imperium--warriors capable of winning against insane odds. aiva himself was one of these Top Guns.
By now, aiva was a hard-boiled member of the Imperium's deep state. He had developed a very thick skin. Occasionally, however, he found himself annoyed by the comments left on MinerBumping's The Best Revenge series. Something said by an anonymous commenter on Part 38 bothered him greatly.
Months earlier, aiva had put in a bunch of work restructuring the Imperium's renter system. He bristled at the notion that outsiders perceived them as ghettos. Did people really think of him as some sort of heartless slumlord?
Nevertheless, aiva knew that MinerBumping posts about himself couldn't always be taken at face value: They presented a mere slice of what was really going on. Only aiva and his council knew the full truth.
And as long as The Best Revenge series served the Imperium's interests, aiva was willing to be portrayed in an unflattering light. If that was the price of victory, he'd gladly pay it.
To be continued...
The simple fact was that aiva had high ambitions and expensive tastes. He wasn't content to mine in a highsec asteroid belt; he wanted to buy a titan, a Nyx, and a directorship in Goonswarm Federation. Even if that meant engaging in RMT in the other games aiva played.
Although aiva had briefly toyed with the idea of becoming EVE's richest player by manipulating the PLEX market, isk wasn't aiva's first love. He longed to focus on what he did best: war and the weapons of war.
BUT. THE. MONEY.
For now, aiva was allowing himself to fall behind on his payments. His high-level contacts in Goonswarm could only hope that aiva wasn't stringing them along.
aiva knew perfectly well that his late payments wouldn't go unnoticed. As time went on, he would run the risk of losing his chance to buy Imperium supercaps and director roles. Therefore, in the meantime, he needed to prove his worth to the Imperium in other ways.
No one studied EVE's game mechanics more intensely than aiva did. If he continued to provide valuable theorycrafting to the Imperium's leaders, perhaps they would cut him some slack on the money he owed.
Luckily for aiva, two new secret weapons were nearly ready for field testing: Dog Box and Jugernaught.
Project Jugernaught was a departure from aiva's usual preference for massive fleets. Instead, he would find the highest-quality pilots in the Imperium--warriors capable of winning against insane odds. aiva himself was one of these Top Guns.
By now, aiva was a hard-boiled member of the Imperium's deep state. He had developed a very thick skin. Occasionally, however, he found himself annoyed by the comments left on MinerBumping's The Best Revenge series. Something said by an anonymous commenter on Part 38 bothered him greatly.
Months earlier, aiva had put in a bunch of work restructuring the Imperium's renter system. He bristled at the notion that outsiders perceived them as ghettos. Did people really think of him as some sort of heartless slumlord?
Nevertheless, aiva knew that MinerBumping posts about himself couldn't always be taken at face value: They presented a mere slice of what was really going on. Only aiva and his council knew the full truth.
And as long as The Best Revenge series served the Imperium's interests, aiva was willing to be portrayed in an unflattering light. If that was the price of victory, he'd gladly pay it.
To be continued...
Sunday, May 3, 2020
Kills of the Week
A great debate rages among the bot-aspirant carebears of highsec. There are those who, though they realize that the Code is right and just, are as yet too weak and feeble of will to embrace it. And then there are the carebears who adamantly deny the Code. Let us put the latter to the test: Upon a fair review of these kills from the week of April 26th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 2nd @ 23:59 EVEtime, is it not clear that the laws of nature itself demand an alternative to being a Goofus?
Enter Mutlu Palutli, also known as Goofus #1. Mutlu AFK'ed his way into Uedama in a triple-anti-tanked freighter worth over 18 billion isk. In so doing, he delivered himself to the Kusion family's home and left his possessions on their doorstep. Agents Sasha Shi, Jacob Kusion, Josh Kusion, Darth VaIdemar, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion assembled a fleet of Catalysts, did the Code's business, and enjoyed a fine explosion--a typically splendid day in Uedama.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else! Corvus Sidus never learned this lesson--or anything else. Agents Pyro Regyri, Zane Arnolles, and Jana Grebb destroyed Corvus's 1.7 billion isk bling-Hulk and his 787 million isk pod. You'd think that would serve as a wake-up call even to the sleepiest of bot-aspirant miners. No, Corvus was too sleepy. Barely an hour later, Corvus resumed mining in the same system. He "downgraded" to a 760 million isk Mackinaw but splurged on 2.3 billion isk worth of implants--including a Michi's Excavation Augmentor. Naturally, our heroes returned to the system and took away Corvus's new stuff.
This, friends, is not what Rattlesnakes are for. Dantalian Lemegeton's battleship-freighter autopiloted into Niarja. This time it was the Rackner family's turn to get a nice package left on their doorstep. Agents eviserater Adoudel, Georgia Rackner, Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Yan Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Globby Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Jemma Rackner, hegils, Emily Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Benji Rackner, Vladimir Puotin, and Adara Gaea showed Dantalian what PvP ships are supposed to do.
For whatever reason, many expensive pods went boom this week. Menya Mne lost a 3.7 billion isk pod to Agent Narl' Amhar, whose friends had just finished ganking Menya's 4.5 billion isk Vindicator. Which reminds me: A lot of expensive "combat" ships went boom this week, too.
Have another pod, then! Luke Reega managed to lose implants worth 6.7 billion isk. When your pod is this expensive, it's only a matter of time before you get featured on a Kills of the Week post. Agent Australian Excellence and his Tax Collector friends ganked Luke's 3.8 billion isk Bustard, enabling Australian to get to the really good stuff.
Ah, an Ascendancy set. Perfect for when you need to hurry through your warps so that you can get back to slow-boating on autopilot.
Anaxes Raheal's 7.2 billion isk pod lands on this week's KotW post with a thud. Anaxes was caught in a billion isk salvager Drekavac. He was either AFK or just plain groggy; Agent obgyn kANOBI had no trouble catching the carebear's pod.
And so Anaxes was sent back to Jita. One can only hope that he will not repeat his mistakes. This time, friend, why not purchase a nice Catalyst instead? It would go great with a 10 million isk New Order mining permit.
Enter Mutlu Palutli, also known as Goofus #1. Mutlu AFK'ed his way into Uedama in a triple-anti-tanked freighter worth over 18 billion isk. In so doing, he delivered himself to the Kusion family's home and left his possessions on their doorstep. Agents Sasha Shi, Jacob Kusion, Josh Kusion, Darth VaIdemar, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion assembled a fleet of Catalysts, did the Code's business, and enjoyed a fine explosion--a typically splendid day in Uedama.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else! Corvus Sidus never learned this lesson--or anything else. Agents Pyro Regyri, Zane Arnolles, and Jana Grebb destroyed Corvus's 1.7 billion isk bling-Hulk and his 787 million isk pod. You'd think that would serve as a wake-up call even to the sleepiest of bot-aspirant miners. No, Corvus was too sleepy. Barely an hour later, Corvus resumed mining in the same system. He "downgraded" to a 760 million isk Mackinaw but splurged on 2.3 billion isk worth of implants--including a Michi's Excavation Augmentor. Naturally, our heroes returned to the system and took away Corvus's new stuff.
This, friends, is not what Rattlesnakes are for. Dantalian Lemegeton's battleship-freighter autopiloted into Niarja. This time it was the Rackner family's turn to get a nice package left on their doorstep. Agents eviserater Adoudel, Georgia Rackner, Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Yan Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Globby Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Jemma Rackner, hegils, Emily Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Benji Rackner, Vladimir Puotin, and Adara Gaea showed Dantalian what PvP ships are supposed to do.
For whatever reason, many expensive pods went boom this week. Menya Mne lost a 3.7 billion isk pod to Agent Narl' Amhar, whose friends had just finished ganking Menya's 4.5 billion isk Vindicator. Which reminds me: A lot of expensive "combat" ships went boom this week, too.
Have another pod, then! Luke Reega managed to lose implants worth 6.7 billion isk. When your pod is this expensive, it's only a matter of time before you get featured on a Kills of the Week post. Agent Australian Excellence and his Tax Collector friends ganked Luke's 3.8 billion isk Bustard, enabling Australian to get to the really good stuff.
Ah, an Ascendancy set. Perfect for when you need to hurry through your warps so that you can get back to slow-boating on autopilot.
Anaxes Raheal's 7.2 billion isk pod lands on this week's KotW post with a thud. Anaxes was caught in a billion isk salvager Drekavac. He was either AFK or just plain groggy; Agent obgyn kANOBI had no trouble catching the carebear's pod.
And so Anaxes was sent back to Jita. One can only hope that he will not repeat his mistakes. This time, friend, why not purchase a nice Catalyst instead? It would go great with a 10 million isk New Order mining permit.
Saturday, May 2, 2020
Defender of the Newbies, Part 1
As part of CCP's effort to retain new players, they long ago designated certain systems "rookie systems". In such places, newly created characters are allowed to mine and participate in tutorial missions without interference. But there was a problem: CCP failed to anticipate the greed and bot-aspirancy of veteran miners, who choose to mine in rookie systems and deprive newbies of ore. Will no one look out for the new players? Will no one defend their interests?
Yucie Van Burean will.
One day while patrolling the rookie systems, Agent Yucie came across a miner named Ads Ford. He was helping himself to some Veldspar.
With nearly four years in the game, Ads was no newbie. So Yucie did exactly what you'd expect: She defended the rights of newbies by repeatedly bumping Ads out of the asteroid belt.
Yucie was a skilled bumper. Ads grew increasingly angry as he realized that a determined Agent had the ability to prevent him from mining.
Even though Yucie explained that Ads didn't belong in a rookie system, the miner refused to relocate. He obviously got some sort of pleasure from taking Veldspar designated for rookies.
From time to time, genuine newbies entered the system. They were lucky: They got a chance to witness EVE's endgame content!
Ads was too selfish to understand why Yucie would want to help another person. And he was at a loss to comprehend the Code.
From Ads' perspective, there was no point in playing EVE if he couldn't take Veldspar from newbies. What else was there to do in this game?
Ads was in anguish. Only Yucie's extraordinary compassion prevented her from calling the miner out for being bot-aspirant trash.
Ads had no alternative but to concede and surrender to the awesome power of a Code-inspired bumper. He wasn't as happy about it as he ought to be, though.
Agent Yucie had won a great victory. In a generous mood, she decided to share some of her insights with the miner. Would Ads finally calm down and embrace the wisdom of the Code?
Or would he do the other thing?
To be continued...
Yucie Van Burean will.
One day while patrolling the rookie systems, Agent Yucie came across a miner named Ads Ford. He was helping himself to some Veldspar.
With nearly four years in the game, Ads was no newbie. So Yucie did exactly what you'd expect: She defended the rights of newbies by repeatedly bumping Ads out of the asteroid belt.
Yucie was a skilled bumper. Ads grew increasingly angry as he realized that a determined Agent had the ability to prevent him from mining.
Even though Yucie explained that Ads didn't belong in a rookie system, the miner refused to relocate. He obviously got some sort of pleasure from taking Veldspar designated for rookies.
From time to time, genuine newbies entered the system. They were lucky: They got a chance to witness EVE's endgame content!
Ads was too selfish to understand why Yucie would want to help another person. And he was at a loss to comprehend the Code.
From Ads' perspective, there was no point in playing EVE if he couldn't take Veldspar from newbies. What else was there to do in this game?
Ads was in anguish. Only Yucie's extraordinary compassion prevented her from calling the miner out for being bot-aspirant trash.
Ads had no alternative but to concede and surrender to the awesome power of a Code-inspired bumper. He wasn't as happy about it as he ought to be, though.
Agent Yucie had won a great victory. In a generous mood, she decided to share some of her insights with the miner. Would Ads finally calm down and embrace the wisdom of the Code?
Or would he do the other thing?
To be continued...
Friday, May 1, 2020
Fresh Blubber
There's something about Agent Krig Povelli's Ikitursa.
You'd think that a Triglavian ship piloted by an Agent of the New Order would be an intimidating presence in any highsec asteroid belt or ice anomaly. And yet, time after time, miners choose to engage in combat with Krig's Ikitursa. They open fire on him!
Appropriately enough, Seven Mr lost a pod worth 777 million isk. But the Procurer pilot wasn't alone in choosing to attack Krig's ship. He had a partner in crime.
...One of these.
To Krig's amazement, the Orca pilot was indeed a "new player"!
tracer bought an Orca on her first day in EVE and lost it the same day. She was like the mayfly of Orca pilots.
You'd think that a Triglavian ship piloted by an Agent of the New Order would be an intimidating presence in any highsec asteroid belt or ice anomaly. And yet, time after time, miners choose to engage in combat with Krig's Ikitursa. They open fire on him!
Appropriately enough, Seven Mr lost a pod worth 777 million isk. But the Procurer pilot wasn't alone in choosing to attack Krig's ship. He had a partner in crime.
...One of these.
Krig Povelli > HiSince Agent Krig was in lawful combat with tracer Madullier's Orca, he had the option of tackling the miner's ship and negotiating with her. Krig hoped that he wouldn't need to kill the miner. But so far, it seemed like tracer was a total liar.
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
tracer Madullier > sorry, i , new player
tracer Madullier > please
tracer Madullier > let me go
Krig Povelli > A new player with an Orca?
To Krig's amazement, the Orca pilot was indeed a "new player"!
tracer Madullier > i played one dayOur Agent was unsettled by the notion of a one-day player in an Orca. Yet Krig's desire to peacefully resolve the situation overcame his misgivings.
Krig Povelli > You injected skills then
tracer Madullier > yes
Krig Povelli > Tell you what, I am fair
Krig Povelli > 315 mil. ISK to save your ship
tracer Madullier > sorryAgent Krig felt that a 315 million isk ransom was fair. It was, after all, significantly less than the Orca was worth.
tracer Madullier > i m so sorry
Krig Povelli > Send 315 mil. ISK
tracer Madullier > ok
Krig Povelli > Waiting for ISK
tracer Madullier > let me goTragically, the miner tried to scam our Agent. Krig would never quite look at her the same way again.
Krig Povelli > That was only 32 mil.
Krig Povelli > I said 315
Krig Povelli > 315,000,000
tracer Madullier > i have not enoughtracer claimed to have absolutely nothing but her Orca. One hundred percent of her wealth was tackled in that ice anomaly.
tracer Madullier > this is all
tracer Madullier > sorry
tracer Madullier > sory
Krig Povelli > You have other assets
tracer Madullier > really sorry
tracer Madullier > my money all use
Krig Povelli > Trade me some skill injectorsKrig felt he was still being scammed. Surely tracer had some other assets to her name? Our Agent knew, for instance, that tracer had used skill injectors. Maybe she still had some.
tracer Madullier > i have no
tracer Madullier > now
Krig Povelli > That is unfortunate
tracer Madullier > please
tracer Madullier > let me go
tracer Madullier > sorry
tracer Madullier > realy
Krig Povelli > If you give me 315,000,000 ISK then I will let you goTo put a little extra pressure on the miner, Krig began to whittle away at the helpless Orca's hitpoints. tracer urged him to stop. Would this be a turning point?
tracer Madullier > i really no
tracer Madullier > wait
Krig Povelli > Wait for what?
tracer Madullier > Forgive me, I have used all my money, I do n’t have any nowKrig Povelli sighed and continued to fire upon the Orca. Our Agents are the only ones who teach people how to play EVE these days.
Krig Povelli > That is not how you are supposed to play EVE
Krig Povelli > Rule #1 in EVE
Krig Povelli > Always pay ransoms
Krig Povelli > Rule #2 in EVE
Krig Povelli > Never fly what you can't replace
tracer Madullier > You have n’t played my account for too long, I ’m wrongThe Orca began to lose structure hitpoints at an alarming rate. The clock was ticking. If tracer had any isk, the time to send it to Krig was now.
tracer Madullier > oh
tracer Madullier > no
Krig Povelli > Oh
Krig Povelli > Yes
tracer Madullier > I used all my moneyAt last, the inevitable occurred.
tracer Madullier > dont do this
Krig Povelli > Oops
Krig Povelli > I hope we can still be friends
tracer bought an Orca on her first day in EVE and lost it the same day. She was like the mayfly of Orca pilots.
tracer Madullier > Give me back my moneyNow the miner had nothing at all. But if you really, really, really think about it, tracer's experience with Agent Krig made her richer. For true wealth cannot be measured in isk. It can only be measured in the Code.
tracer Madullier > ok?
Krig Povelli > No refunds, friend
Krig Povelli > o/ Fly dangerous
Krig Povelli > And always remember the Golden Rules of EVE
Top Supporters for April 2020
Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2016, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2017, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2018, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2019, February, March, April, May, and June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2020, February, and March top 10 lists at the appropriate links.
Here are our top isk contributors for April 2020:
TOP SUPPORTERS
April 2020

#1. KC Managra Nobano313
1,000,000,000 isk

#1. Thirtyone Organism
1,000,000,000 isk

#3. Relto
555,000,000 isk

#4. Jimmy217
231,000,000 isk

#4. Know-Nothings
231,000,000 isk

#4. The Notorious P-O-D
231,000,000 isk

#7. VictorStark Stark
203,000,000 isk

#8. Opaldes Todako
200,000,000 isk

#9. Xami Rozar
100,000,000 isk

#10. Space-Corp Truthkeepers of The Borat
90,000,000 isk
There's a reason why the thinking people of EVE trust the New Order to rule highsec: You can always count on the Code--always! Even our most bot-aspirant of enemies have no choice but to admit that we have stood the test of time. And we always will--again--always!
Here are our top isk contributors for April 2020:
April 2020

#1. KC Managra Nobano313
1,000,000,000 isk

#1. Thirtyone Organism
1,000,000,000 isk

#3. Relto
555,000,000 isk

#4. Jimmy217
231,000,000 isk

#4. Know-Nothings
231,000,000 isk

#4. The Notorious P-O-D
231,000,000 isk

#7. VictorStark Stark
203,000,000 isk

#8. Opaldes Todako
200,000,000 isk

#9. Xami Rozar
100,000,000 isk

#10. Space-Corp Truthkeepers of The Borat
90,000,000 isk
There's a reason why the thinking people of EVE trust the New Order to rule highsec: You can always count on the Code--always! Even our most bot-aspirant of enemies have no choice but to admit that we have stood the test of time. And we always will--again--always!
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