Thursday, September 27, 2012

Enemies of the New Order Go Bang and Boom

The surge in support for the New Order has led to a lot of new bumpers of late.

Agent Bing Bangboom has been making a name for himself in Kamio, a New Order system next door to Halaima, our capital.

There is no higher calling than service to the New Order. More and more people see that now.

I received a report from Agent Bing about violence in Kamio. This report was verified by another Agent, who witnessed the event. The day started out peacefully, like so many others. Bing was educating miners about the Code, and suddenly a group of ships began giving Bing the carebear stare.

Bing told me that at this point, his sixth sense told him there was danger. Among the group of ships were two destroyers. One of the destroyer pilots, Creator Zaft, appeared to be the ringleader of the group.

Local turned ominous. There was murder in the air.

Perhaps the show of force was meant to intimidate. If so, the rebels just didn't get it. Bing knew he was protected by the New Order.

The two destroyers opened fire, along with a rookie ship for some reason. They meant to kill Bing's stabber!

The battle had the same outcome as every other. The stabber survived, and the rebels all perished.

New Order supporter Angel Violette looked upon the terrorists with pity. How many more rebel ships must explode before this is all over, and we can finally have peace?

Creator remained in the ice field, sitting in his pod. He pleaded for death.

For the third time, Creator spat out a racial slur. Unlike bumping miners, this is a violation of the EULA. But as we've seen in the past, miners sometimes break actual rules.

Just who is this Creator Zaft fellow, anyway?

He is part of an "Anti-Pirate" corp, but there are few other clues. If the rest of the corp is like him, I think I'll stick with the pirates.

With blood still in his eye, Creator challenged Bing to fight his alleged fleet of tech III ships.

Bing was prepared to fight them off in his Rifter, but Creator's fleet never showed up. I've noticed fleets like this always seem to get lost on the way to New Order territory. Perhaps the next time Creator comes to Kamio, he will bring some isk--and better manners.


  1. So Creator Zaft is looking to expand his numbers & has a lot of T3's... Hmm.

  2. It always strikes me as odd just how angry miners and the people that protect them are. After all, mining itself is widely considered relaxing (and boring), perhaps after some time with no human interaction a kind of 'roid rage' builds up?

  3. >> So Creator Zaft is looking to expand his numbers & has a lot of T3's... Hmm
    I like the way you think ;)

  4. The work of James 315 and his dedicated band of agents has become the greatest motivating force that I've come across for getting involved in EVE.

    They are the soldiers of the New Order, honour them.

  5. Replies
    1. I believe there is only one Niger River so your use of the plural seems redundant

  6. I got one word "EXTORTION"

    1. How can you call this extortion?

      Before you were graced by the selfless benevolence of the righteous Agents of the New Order, you would have spent your time staring at a rock, partaking in some bizarre, robotic imitation of a wayward Rogue Drone - at best, clicking your mouse perhaps once or twice an hour, emptying your cargohold and selecting a new target for your mining lasers.

      The Agents of the New Order have seen your plight, and in their infinite mercy, have taken the time to extend their guidance to your mining systems, interacting with you, extending to you a personal invitation to play the game as a capsuleer, commanding the machines of war and industry, instead of a soulless AI construct commanding not even the rules of proper sentence construction.

      The Agents of the New Order provide this service to you at their own personal cost - instead of spending their time rapt in glorious battle, they fly to your systems, attempt to reason with you with the patience of saints, and bump your semi-piloted mining barges out of range, their own Stabber-class ships forming a bulwark against the insidious curse of bot-aspiration.

      For this service, truly, no ISK-price is enough - however, the Agents of the New Order ask only 10 million ISK of you, a mere pittance! After all that the New Order has done for you, you would still call this 'EXTORTION'?

      You should be ashamed of yourself, Creator Zaft!

  7. The extortion must end! Down with the new order!


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