Friday, October 26, 2012

Miners Turn to the New Order

We are living in extraordinary times. In recent days, posters on the official EVE forums have essentially conceded our Invincibility, and one of the most notorious rebel leaders has switched sides to join the New Order. Now we are seeing the signs of an awakening among the miner population of highsec.


In Tolle, I was followed by BBQ PorkRamen FlyingDuck, who was attempting to counter-bump me (at least, I think he was) in a MWD'ing Ibis.


He felt he couldn't join the New Order because he frequently partakes in mining.


As I explained, some of my best friends are miners.


After spending some time with us in the Tolle ice field, BBQ came to realize we were not the monsters that our enemies described.


In fact, BBQ had an interest in becoming a bumper himself.


For many, the glamorous life of an Agent is difficult to turn down!


Meanwhile, Agent Tubrug1 informed me of anti-Order activity in the Aydoteaux system, which is next door to Tolle and a hotspot for ice miners.


Just as I read Turbrug1's first EVEmail, I received his news of victory. The multi-boxing miner got a quick GM response to his petition and promptly signed up his fleet by paying Tubrug1 150 million isk. According to the petitioner, the GM response was as follows:
Hello,

Bumping miners is not against the rules. If you keep your mining ship moving while you mine (by orbiting your target for example) then the bumper will probably miss you.
Judging by the quick response time, GMs are fielding a lot of these anti-Order petitions and educating the petitioners in an efficient manner. Kudos!


I received an EVEmail testimony from a miner named DeadSea Youngblood. More articulate than most, DeadSea's letter contains the same core message that I get from miners across highsec.


At first, DeadSea played the game like many highsec miners. But he knew there was something wrong. Something missing.


Having been enlightened by MinerBumping and my other writings, DeadSea came to see the world around him as it truly is, stripped of the pretenses of greed and bot-aspiration.


DeadSea was liberated by the Code and transformed into a true EVE player. He also purchased 722 million worth of shares by spending all the isk he had on hand. It's the feel-good story of the week!

So if you're a rebel out there trying to plot some way to bring down the New Order, you need not bother. Miners are perfectly happy with the change we are bringing to highsec. And while the journey of self-discovery we recommend for the miners is not optional, it's practically voluntary, because in the end they'll be enlightened and retroactively agree to it on behalf of their earlier selves. Be practical, join the New Order.

16 comments:

  1. You really aren't taking advice, are you Mr. Peterson? Oh well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To take down the post about Capt Lynch or they'll take him to court!

      Delete
    2. That's not advice, that's an empty threat. I think he's referring something else, that can't be it.

      Plus, he's anonymous. This might not even be the same person from that article!

      Delete
    3. I'm waiting Mr. Peterson...time is ticking...

      Delete
    4. I like the implied menace in his words, like he's sat in an underground bunker somewhere, stroking a white cat.

      Shame it's just mom's basement. (we won't discuss further what he's really stroking)

      Delete
    5. Dear Sir
      I am writing to you to inform you of my client’s intention to prosecute you for certain posts on your blog space. As you well know the courts take a dim view of people posting correspondence and in game chat logs between two characters in an internet spaceship game. I of course hope that you reside in the same country as my client and have access to a lawyer such as myself that has bugger all to do apart from make idle and useless threats that in no way can be enforced.

      Yours faithfully
      SPACE LAWYER

      Delete
    6. You would think that reading comprehension would be important for someone who wants to sue someone else. Guess I was wrong.

      Delete
  2. Another shareholder, friend of the New Order and brother joins our ranks! What a happy day indeed. Welcome my friend!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oof, not only did another person out-spend me this month in shares, they also spent more than my total. I can't complain though, someone with this much dedication to the Order deserves a large say.

    Welcome to the team, DeadSea Youngblood!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I got talking to few agents too, they are actually very nice and respectful, quite frankly the only reason I didnt pay at first was cuz I wanted to make sure if it was or wasnt against the rules. The New Order needs to continue doing what its doing, it prevents inflation of ice prices and brings balance to the game, granted, its code needs balance itself in some aspects, but the new Order is very new, its growing and its learning at a surprising rate, with mutual respect, we can fix high sec, something CCP cant do. A new topic that needs to be touched tho is the difference between an in-game bot, or a bot that sits there all day on his computer wasting away playing EVE in his life not ever being afk, that is two types of bots, hence why its so important we work together towards this goal, striving for balance. We cant pretend to tell people how to play, as its they who are paying or plexing to play this game, but we can sure shake their foundation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. For all those readers who are not yet part of the New Order or do not possess a valid permit, there are bulk discounts & introductory offers available on mining permits, we are offering them in the systems adjacent to Tolle, please feel free to contact one of our friendly representatives for more details, discounts are down to the agents discretion, anybody who smack talks in local or encourages others to do so is not eligible for a discount.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DeadSea here, thanks for the supporting comments. For the rest, paying for an indulgence is such a small price to pay to mine, there really isn't a reason not to pay. Unless you don't support the New Order, of course, and who doesn't?

    ReplyDelete
  7. You need to bring your guys to Halle - I mine there on a "what I need for manufacturing" basis, but there are five belts there that frequently emptied by bots that just seem to sit around and do nothing sometimes. Local is void of conversation, even when you try to start one. You guys are welcome in Halle, but just know that Remiel Pollard has no alts, and when he's mining, he's doing it solo and actually putting in the hard yards.

    ReplyDelete
  8. FederalGovernmentUSANovember 28, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    I'm sorry but the new order is operating a bussiness without a bussiness permit. You will be required to pay the federal government 35% of all revenue generated by selling permits. Failure to comply will result in the deaths of all new order capsuleers as well as 20 years imprisonment and a 25b isk fine.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Our officers are currently signing up for eve accounts and are selling millions of USD in plex to fund our enforcement. FBI raid teams are being dispatched with CIA support to track down your IP & address. Also all personal assets will be confiscated for use during the commision of a crime.

    ReplyDelete

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