Saturday, October 13, 2012

From Poland with Love

Not so long ago, we took a look at Google-powered translations of Russian invective aimed against me. Because I'm all about building bridges, I decided to use the power of Google to help me connect in real-time with the next miner who spoke to me in a foreign tongue.

I encountered Furiatka in the Halaima ice field while I was bumping someone else. She began speaking in a language I didn't recognize. Google suggested it was Polish and automatically translated it for me.
What a fucking cunt (Alternate translation: What a fucked up cunt)
If Furiatka was capable of speaking English, I let her know I preferred it.
How can I teach English to you our

Piczo all the time
Google told me that the miner's name is Polish for "Madwoman". I wasn't sure what "Piczo" was. Google says it's a picture-sharing website, but that couldn't be what was meant. Regardless, I was sufficiently alarmed by the Code violations of Furiatka's previous statements to put her on notice.

I began bumping Furiatka and told her in Polish that she could no longer mine. At least, I hoped that's what I was telling her.

I told her that she had violated the Code and asked if she was willing to pay.
Unless your mother on the head collapsed

By this point, Furiatka was far from the ice field. She occasionally attempted to return, but always got bumped back into the penalty box.

I told the madwoman to clean up her behavior, but it was of no use. There were some words I couldn't translate, but I got the gist.
At most you can obtargac my hairy piczo

You're a 14 year old kid
Apparently Miner Bingo squares can be achieved by miners across the globe.
Gora and it still wears your mom and dad fed with a slingshot
...Though some things remain purely regional.

I wasn't sure how well "isk" would translate, so I asked if she would pay 10 million gold.
No unless your boobs itch

I stressed that the Code must be followed by all, from Halaima all the way to Poland.
As you are using Google Translate you are the cleavage head

I didn't need Google to tell me the substance of Furiatka's comment this time.
Fucking Nazi, you sound like Hitler or Stalin
...A remark made more poignant by the fact that Poland was invaded by both Hitler and Stalin.

I asked again why she refused to obey. At last, we were making some progress.

A total idiot in three languages, written and spoken
The limitations of Google once again keenly felt. Did she just insult herself?

When she miraculously began speaking English, I thought I was getting through to her. Now I'm not so certain. Even so, I felt the experiment helped prove that while some customs and fashions may vary, miners are the same all over. The Code fits their lives like a glove, a one-size-fits-all glove. They just need to try it on!


  1. న్యూ ఆర్డర్ వ్యవస్థలు అన్ని మైనర్లు కోడ్ అనుసరించాలి.

  2. Agents of the New Order are equal opportunity enforcers, no favoritism here regardless of nationality. Poor English is NOT a valid reason to withhold payment.

  3. BTW: 'jak ja mam sie uczycz angielskieho to ty naszego' means something like 'Why should I learn English language, it's you who should learn ours'. Quite funny.

    'Piczo' is a vocative case, meaning '(you) pussy'. The word is common to many Slavic languages (with some morphological variations).

  4. Proper translation of all what she said:
    “ Co za zjebane cipy” – What a fucked cunts
    “ Jak ja mam sie uczyc angielskiego to ty naszego” – If I have to learn English, so you learn ours (Polish)
    “ Caly czas piczo” – All the time pussy
    “ Ssij” – suck
    “ Chyba ci matka na glowe upadla” – Surely your mother fell onto her head
    “ Co najwyzej mozesz mi obtargnac wlochatego “ – At most you can jerk off my hairy (dick)
    “ Piczo” – pussy
    “ ty to jestes jakis dzieciak 14 lat” – you are some 14 years old kid
    “ gora i to jeszcze mamusia cie ubiera, a ojciec karmi z procy” – its continuation of previous sentence. Whole sentence sounds: You are some kid, 14 years old maximum and still your mother dress you and father is feeding you from the slingshot.
    “ no chyba cie cycki swedza” – Surely your boobs are itching
    “ jak uzywasz googla trans to jeszcze z glowa cieciu” – as you use google translate, use it with head (brain) janitor ( “cieć” is slang word and its an insult)
    “ jebany nazista brzmisz jak hitler albo stalin... porazka pewnie zyd jestes” – Fucking nazi, you sound like hitler or stalin... fail, you are probably jew.
    “ w sumie idioto w 3 jezykach pisanych i mowionych” – in total, idiot, in 3 languages, written and spoken.

    Even her polish skills are so bad, it lacks style, comas and logic.


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