Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Curious Case of Capt Lynch, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... After experiencing a peculiar conversation with a random EVE player named Capt Lynch, I discovered he was the same person who requested time for an ISD interview with the New Order--and that he was a vociferous opponent of the New Order in anonymous comments.

Adding to the mystery surrounding Capt was an odd tale he spun about his brother being driven to tears and account cancellation by an unnamed Agent of the New Order. According to Capt, this incident and/or ISD policy were responsible for his pulling the plug on his plans for an ISD story on the New Order.

In investigating this further, I uncovered chat logs that added a new angle to the story. The following chat log excerpts record what Capt was doing less than an hour before he initiated his conversation with me.
Capt Lynch > I would like to talk to a CCP player
ISD Etetia > Capt, To contact a GM, file a petition. To do this press Help (F12) Create new petition
ISD Helebias > Capt Lynch The only way to reach a GM is f12
Capt Lynch > not a GM...half of them work for that asshole I am trying to report
Where did this conversation take place, you ask? In the "Help" channel, where pilots from across EVE can get their questions answered by CCP employees and helpful veterans of the game. Capt believed his nemesis had half the GMs under his spell! Who could it be?
Kable Coolman > work for that "ass hole" to GM?
Lichna Sihaya > Capt Lynch - email customer service then
ISD Helebias > Capt Lynch Please mind your language here
Kable Coolman > this waint gonan end well
Jercy Fravowitz > Capt Lynch: that is unlikely and if they claimed anything like that it will get them into trouble with real GMs.
Capt was rebuked for his foul language. Clearly he was angry about someone. It couldn't be me, since at that point I had never had any contact with Capt or his corporation.
Capt Lynch > I;m talking about that New order retard, James 315
OK, I guess it could be me. But why was he trying to enlist CCP's support against me an hour before our conversation? He didn't seem very angry when he spoke to me. And why was he convinced the New Order had infiltrated and seized control of the GM staff?
Lichna Sihaya > Capt Lynch what was your problem with James 315?
Shock > James 315 hahahaahahahah
Droopsack > long live the new order
Capt Lynch > where do I start? The little tit took over the only ice field near me and tried to extort 100 mill from me
Dr Felonius > Bwah hah hah James315 FTW
A couple things stand out. First, given the large number of ice fields in Caldari highsec, how could I have taken over the only one near Capt? Second, how could I try to extort isk from someone I had never met? Third, why would it be 100 mill, when everyone and his grandmother knows a mining permit costs 10 mill? And why did none of this come up during my conversation with Capt? As I reviewed the intel, it produced more questions than answers.
Droopsack > Capt Lynch with talk like that u will be put on the red pen list sir
Capt Lynch > oh fuck off
Lichna Sihaya > Capt Lynch - that is 100% normal legal game mechanic
Capt Lynch > do I look like I gove a flying fuck about you borderline scientologist psychos
Grifoner > Capt Lynch who u talking to?
Capt Lynch > James 315's pet minions over here
Droopsack > Capt Lynch seems somewhat disturbed, thats what excessive ice mining does to u
Capt Lynch > I don;t ice mine...but when my brother is reduced to tears cause an agent blew his only mining ship up...I tend to get angry
And there was the story about the crying brother again. Capt was so animated that he completely blew off the ISD member's warning about his foul language.
Lichna Sihaya > Capt Lynch - thats PERFECTLY legal in eve
Sabin Infernorum > that's hilarious
Capt Lynch > but it isn;t to call my brother a whining carebear cunt
Shock > an 'agent' blew up his ship? that's a new one...
Dunderhead > sorry for your brother but that IS the game
Droopsack > Capt Lynch language!
ISD Helebias > Capt Lynch if you think that the ship loss was not correct, may write a petittion, no one else can help you with it in here and please mind your language. losses happen as well as suicide ganking does, as frustrating as it is
Lichna Sihaya > Capt Lynch - you can try to petition for launguage but thats not very likely to be successufll , you wont get your ship back.. u've use similar languge in this channel
Capt Lynch > Droopsack sorry...I;m just repeating what I saw on my brothers chatlog from your agent
I guess we know what the unnamed Agent said to his brother. There's no clue as to the identity of this Agent, other than the fact that he blew up the mining ship rather than bumping it. If the story was true, that is. But if the story wasn't true, why was Capt going to CCP about it?
Lichna Sihaya > carebear tears are delicious
Capt Lynch > he was there...he didnlt stop the agent though...if he is such a 'protector'...why doesn;t he stop that
Capt Lynch > he was in a 'New order' system
Jercy Fravowitz > Capt Lynch: what is a "new order system"?
xCabalx > Capt Lynch, you whine around because your brother lost a ship? go fly somewhere else in a more friendly space environment with rainbows and love.....
ISD Helebias > Guy's, please stick to the topic from now on
Shock > Jercy Fravowitz bunch of caldari Ice systems where James 315 bumps afk miners
Capt Lynch > no...James 315 is their leader...he is the one who should be held responcible
So now I'm to blame if someone's mining ship gets blown up in a New Order system, because I failed to "protect" the miner? Did this miner even pay his mining fee? Doubtful! If he read the Code he would know gankers are welcome in New Order territory.
Droopsack > so many tears :)
Kable Coolman > Capt Lynch he aint resbonsible for shit, your bro wasnt smart engouh to protect his own keep, mine in high sec, suck this up, let this be a damm lesson to yer tiny asses, and get over it,
Kable Coolman > " i lost a ship, better call gm"
Capt Lynch left the Help channel. After I finished reviewing this log, I remembered how Capt had asked me to "reign in" my Agents and stop them from can-flipping and dishonoring ransoms. He mentioned Agent Orions Lord by name. Some of the pieces were falling into place.

Could it be that Capt's story was true after all? Perhaps Orions can-flipped Capt's brother (or Capt himself), demanded 100 million isk in ransom, and blew up the ship. Maybe the brother was fictional, and maybe not. One thing was certain: Capt blamed the Supreme Protector for all of it. He went into the Help channel and demanded my head, not the Agent's.

Still, I couldn't make heads or tails of how Capt started from the position of being angry about can-flipping, and then made the leap over to aborted ISD interviews, GM corruption, and a lengthy conversation with me about--well, whatever that conversation was about.

Next time: Lies, lawsuits, and apologies.


  1. I think ur taking this kid too seriously James, just try to ignore people thatgo overboard like this because you WILL face alot more like this, it woulda been alot simpler if he woulda just calmed down and continued with civilized conversation rather than making up conspiracy theories. Obviously if he woulda provided evidence in the first place, and given this evidence was you know~ real, this agent if guilty woulda had to be educated, but either way. Holy sausage batman free publicity.

  2. I don't think James is even a little bit phased by this guy. Long Live the New Order!!!

  3. Tinfoilhattery, it's like asshattery but for the paranoid and unbalanced.

  4. The New Order has eyes and ears everywhere, loose lips cost ships.

  5. "Next time: Lies, lawsuits, and apologies."

    I already have a popcorn bag right beside the microwave oven.
    The sad part is this kind of guy start to play eve and HE already ruin the game for other people with continuous whine to CCP about unfairness of the game and so on.

  6. The suspense is killing me!

  7. The interview was real...and may still take place...though not on the subject of the New Order and not for Eve. I am planning a article for a forum I frequent aiming to attract some of my friends into playing.

    However I would like some vet players to help me show the pro's and cons of certain careers such as Mission running, PVP, Null/Low sec corps and mining and manufacturing.

    This is not a trap or experiment or fake...if you so wish, I will even provide a link to the forum I will be posting the article in.

    -Capt Lynch

    PS: Kazacy...please leave me alone.

    1. I for one would love to see that forum!

    2. Feel free to contact me ingame...I;m online at this very moment.

    3. "PS: Kazacy...please leave me alone."

      Can you please point to me when or where i insult you? All i was saying are merely my opinions, and last time i checked i live in a country where free speech it's still a right for everyone.

      If you wish (or you feel better) feel free to insult me i have a thick skin :)
      Also i really love to see the forum you mention.

    4. So you're doing a random article on a random forum that no one knows about while trying to pass it off as an ISD interview & getting angry about stuff in a video game. I really doubt that anyone would have you on board to write articles about anything, unless they're quite a bit more insane than you are.

    5. No...this is different completely...This is kind of guide aimed to try and get some of my fellow forum members to play eve. given how useless the in-game guides are...I want to get some actual tutorial advice from players.

    6. Good idea because they certainly shouldn't be taking advice from you.

  8. No apologies for not being nice. I am not, after all, a nice person.

    This Captain Lynch kid seems to me to be a rather slimy little example of an attention whore. And like most attention whores, seems to complain when the attention he went seeking doesn't live up to his expectations.

    If someone on an internet spaceship game made this kid's younger brother break out in tears (oh, tears, how sweet thou are!) then that little brother might need a little more help than the threatened frivolous and doomed attempt at a libel lawsuit would offer.

    Judging by the irrational comments that I can only assume are left here by Lynch, he may need some of that assistance himself.

    EVE isn't for everyone, nor should it be.

    Welcome to EVE Online, Captain Lynch. Now get the hell out.

    1. make me..oh can't.

      You think you can make me leave a game I enjoy? You got another thing coming.

  9. Drago Wolfbane SkorvalkOctober 29, 2012 at 3:13 AM

    Best damn 100m isk I ever spent!! I laugh with the high order to the point I almost cannot take it... I may have to quit over the pains I get from the laughter!!

  10. Interesting ... uh.

    I have no idea what to say to this.

  11. aha 100mil and a ship blown to pieces.

    Rings a bell......

    But I don't recall the nasty words being told to the former mining pilot.

    Maybe it is this person

    Who knows?

    Orions Lord


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