Thursday, October 4, 2012

Declassified: New Order Mole Infiltrates Resistance Movement in Kino, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An Agent of the New Order infiltrated a miner resistance channel in Kino. Infuriated by bumpers in the ice fields, miner General Zakev vowed to fit out a tech II Caracal and suicide gank them.
General Zakev > i just hope not to get jammed
Kyraiela > good luck. :)
For some reason, General was unaware of the fact that Concord's presence in the ice field meant he would automatically be jammed after he fired his first missile. Not that a Caracal is a practical ganking ship, but still. As General began fitting his ship, KnightRider2000 suggested an alternative ganking setup:
KnightRider2000 > i was thinking smart bombs
General Zakev > sometimes they work
General Zakev > but you need to be close and he would see it coming
furcillin > heh, disco ships
KnightRider2000 > but i was buzzing him all nigh in a rifter and he let me get right on him
The ringleader, Kyraiela, proved herself to be a master strategist:
General Zakev > rifter isn't a threat
Kyraiela > general, form fleet with knight. knight get on top of him, general warp in, then knight drop from fleet
Kyraiela > B4 to C5, checkmate
The miners took an agonizingly long time to coordinate their brilliant attack plan.
General Zakev > great but where is he?
furcillin > not in ice field 1
Kyraiela > ice belt 2
Kyraiela > knight, get on top of one of them
While trying to figure out how to land a Caracal on top of the bumper, the rebels stopped to help someone file a petition.
Michael Podiene > How do I report being bumped to CCP? A petition?
Kyraiela > yes, pettition if they do it multiple times, make james 315 and make it plausable he's possibly at it again in other accounts
Kyraiela still believed in the rumors that I was permabanned and that all Agents were my alts. Finally, General warped his Caracal next to a bumper and opened fire.

Agent Dilbert Jenkins survived the attack, and General Zakev was wasted by the Concord squad. Where did it go wrong?
General Zakev > jammed by concord
furcillin > so, concord jams...
General Zakev > yes it's total bullshit
KnightRider2000 > general did you get poped?
General Zakev > yes
The very same highsec miners who begged CCP to buff Concord and protect them from gankers now suffered the consequences. They didn't like it one bit.
Kyraiela > good work General
KnightRider2000 > you get him?
furcillin > they warped off
General Zakev > nope
Kyraiela > of course, cowards
General Zakev > not even a second volley
Of course, it wouldn't matter what manner of ganking ship they used; the New Order always emerges victorious. It's kind of our thing.
KnightRider2000 > think a smart bomb would have worked better
General Zakev > that's if you could web him
Kyraiela > So that is their game. They knew all this on forehand
General Zakev > course they did
Kyraiela > only way to kill them off is to report excessive bumping to CCP
General Zakev > or you could get CCP to change the mechanics of concord
Kyraiela > they won't
The resistance movement debated whether their best hope lay in continuing to file petitions or to beg for nerfs to Concord(!). If that's the best our enemies have, is it any wonder the New Order is so successful?
Sargent Jadon > ive been blocking anyone who reports james 315 as their "lord" its offensive to me lol
furcillin > i just want to know who's actually been paying them
Kyraiela > a few idiots
furcillin > enough to feed the fire
Kyraiela > it's just maffia extortion
And so the resistance movement in Kino withered away. The rebels would continue to launch attacks from time to time, but none so coordinated as Kyraiela's "checkmate" maneuver.

Incredibly, they didn't stop using Caracals as gank ships. Face it, miners: It's time to join the New Order and find out what real leadership looks like.


  1. I hear that Concord is nerfed in null and low sec maybe they would have a better chance there? But they can never nerf the code!!!

    1. I think you're on to something. If miners want to AFK, why don't they do it in lowsec and nullsec, where they can shoot at the bumpers without all that pesky Concord interference?

    2. But didn't the miner-types ... beg, whine and PLEAD to have CONCORD *buffed* to PREVENT suicide ganking?! I'm confused now... do they want suicide ganking or not? Or is it only when *they're* the ones doing the suicide that CONCORD is supposed to look the other way?? How are those poor, hard-working CONCORD officers supposed to know the difference between a suicide ganker and a miner on a righteous mission of vengeance?? And when did the Eve mining 'community' become so violent? I thought they were a peace loving lot who just wanted to munch 'roids and do some sort of supposed service for the Eve Universe...

      They really *do* want their cake and to eat it too, don't they?...

  2. Lol miners to beg for CONCORD nerf. Seems to me they finally see the light. OK i admit not all of them but it's a start, so carry on James you're a real savior.

  3. What about the poor roids!! Can’t we buff them so they can defend themselves from the slow agonising death these miners dish out daily, it monstrous! The code not only helps miners but gives these poor mistreated roids a well-earned respite for their eternal suffering

  4. Truly only a Grand Master strategist would open with such a renowned move as B4. Known as the Polish Opening, it has a long and storied history of classic Polish offensive strategy. The results speak for themselves!


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