Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Questions Three, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An ice miner in Halaima named Damion Raith invoked an obscure provision of the Code allowing him to mine for 24 hours if he was able to answer my Questions Three. Unfortunately, he incorrectly guessed that the Nile was the "largest river in the world". Having failed the Questions Three, he still refused to purchase mining privileges and was bumped out of the ice field. He threatened retaliation.

Damion backpedaled his threat in no time flat.

Resident scofflaw Uni fication made his usual complain about my Invincible Stabber fitting and was amazed to learn I now fit a gun on my ship. I acquired the gun from a Gallente rookie ship at no charge. It's ideal because it requires no ammo.

As I go about my business, I often find myself arguing with multiple people at once. I'm a lot like one of those chess players who plays multiple opponents simultaneously. I deftly skewered Damion's argument and went back to Uni fication.

The proof of my fitting is in the pudding. I linked the killmail of a tech II Thorax that I killed with my gun.

Checkmate. I returned to Damion, who was still sulking.

He felt the question about the world's largest river was unfair. I believe this is the first time someone has ever used the "I was distracted by bumps" excuse for flunking a test.

In Damion's world, it's only the Supreme Protector's opinion that the Amazon River is larger than the Nile. He was still adamant about the Nile having more water flow.

As if that weren't enough, Damion argued for a bizarre alternate definition of the word "largest". I take pity on any teacher who gave Damion a grade on a test he didn't like.

A random EVE pilot named Dirty WienerDog cited the Amazon's vastly superior water flow. Would Damion be convinced?

At long last, Damion confessed the Amazon River was the correct answer to the question. Yet he wouldn't certify that the Questions Three met the Trebek standard.

I think it's pretty clear Trebek would have given the test his seal of approval. A clear question, a clear answer, and the contestant got it wrong. Period.

Duly chastened, Damion took his leave of Halaima to go somewhere else and "be a person". Damion may have made himself look like a fool, but at least he aspires to be a person rather than a bot. We need more human-aspirants in the ice fields of highsec, that's for sure.


  1. Just for clarification James 315, YOU didn't kill anyone with that civilian blaster. Concord killed them and you happened to get a shot off before they died.

    1. As you well know, Concord doesn't fly around the belts slaughtering miners willy-nilly.

    2. While this is correct, sir, you still claim to kill this person in your blog post, when this is clearly a falsehood.

    3. Not so clearly. The kill was indeed mine. Concord was just along for the ride.

    4. If that is so. I welcome you to restage the event in a system that Concord wouldn't be there for the ride. :D

    5. He did not claim to inflict all of the damage, just that he was on the kill mail and it was his kill.

      All true, maybe you just can't fathom how his skills are so superior to yours.

      Remind me some time to tell you about the time I killed a Titan in my Raptor......By myself. ;-)

  2. The problem is that most people, Cold Hard Truth included, allow you to play these silly word games without clearly saying what they are thinking.

    As long as they continue then you will continue to do the same. You're probably a lawyer in real life. Or Mitt Romney.

    1. Ouch, James! That was a serious burn!

      You have been downgraded from Hitler to Mitt Romney!

    2. Dear God man... It all makes sense now as to why I think you're so awesome. YOU'RE FREAKING MITT ROMNEY!!! Dude I just mailed in my absentee ballot voting for you. Hope you win, that other dude will just keep fucking shit up.


      Lowly miners see the light!!

  3. Hmm...for those of you who flunk at Geography...espetially your so-called is the official Nile the big where it is named 'longest river in the world'.

    1. I have three questions for you:

      1. So that's the "official" Nile page?
      2. Really?
      3. I never said the Nile wasn't the longest river in the world, did I?

  4. sorry for the late post, just catching up.

    I think Trebek would facepalm about the above... All of his questions are the answers.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.