Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #11

As the curator of MinerBumping dot com, it has been my pleasure to reveal the true face of highsec minerdom to all EVE. Each encounter with a bumped miner is a slice of highsec life. Let us reach into the Grab Bag of miscellaneous miner tears once more, and deepen our understanding of those who plague EVE!


Since our vacation in Tolle began, we have been making the acquaintance of new miners.


Ice miner Myles O'Bryen is definitely among those who embarrass themselves the most.


Just as ice asteroids do not deplete, certain miners secrete a never-ending flow of tears.


In this context, being called "worse than the Goons" is a wonderful compliment. As some of our Agents prove, however, being a Goon and being a bumper are not mutually exclusive!


mack1 graciously sidestepped the usual "New Order = Nazis" and "bumping miners = Holocaust" comparisons we usually get. The Inquisition is a new one!


I'm not totally persuaded, though. Let's hear some more comparisons as miners struggle to describe this new phenomenon of organized miner bumping:


Els Renora scores with another original comparison. What else can the great minds of Gallente highsec come up with?


I think we've already heard about Jim Jones and his poisoned refreshments. One more try?


Charles Manson isn't a new comparison, but Motalula Mingetickler gets partial credit for the knife-wielding shaven-headed women. You see? You don't need to rely on Hitler. Just exercise a little creativity.


The particular area of Gallente highsec we hit is home to a lot of Russian miners. I received this feverishly-typed EVEmail and sent it through Google Translate, which is an essential tool for bumping miners these days:
Have you gone crazy pretzel? Why the hell should I pay for mining ice in Empire? That you're here, the chief of fart? Invented extortion from miners and pleased with himself? You quite simply viper! And personally, I do not pay you shit! Otsosesh first from my grandmother's house! And this letter translated fuck himself! Stupid old grandfather pimple!
I think I understand the general thrust. But sometimes things are lost in translation coming from the other direction:


I assume that was a bad translation. From what I've seen, imp-dressing is the last thing on a miner's mind after being bumped out of range.


I think I would be better off with the original Russian, in some cases.


You would be surprised how many miners think space piracy is against the EULA. The New Order is more educational than any in-game tutorial!


If the Code goes against your principles, it's time to change your principles. We cannot live in a highsec with infinite Codes tailored to each miner's delicate sensibilities. There can be only one Code, and only one gaming culture. But as long as deviant sets of principles are still held, you can be sure there will be plenty of tears.

23 comments:

  1. Yours isn't a gaming culture. It's abuse.
    Death to the Order.
    Death to its "Leader"
    There is an alternative miners! Fight!
    http://proveldtariat.wordpress.com/anti-bump-methods/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hard to recuit them when half your miners are AFK?

      Delete
  2. Hmm, funny. Compiling a list of all the bumpers in the 'verse? You know who else loves lists? Machines. There is a war coming, humanity shall endure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Actually...he's never afk mined. Look at his KB. He hasn't had a kill in a while but he looks capable?

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. Looks like things are about to get interesting. Let's see where this takes us.

      As to your comment about killboards - both mine and his simply prove that our F1 keys are both present and functional.

      Delete
  3. > There is a war coming, humanity shall endure!

    Winter is coming :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Off-topic: If I can find you ingame, I will kill you for making a Game of Thrones reference.

      Delete
    2. Oh, ok.. makes sense. You can find me at Tolle during the next few days.

      Delete
  4. Wow .. westborough babtist.. this is realy strong stuff.

    westborough babtist vs KKK : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Trctc_fqU

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is no comment section on the code sorry. I was wondering, if someone is a Gallent instead of a Goofuss do they still have to pay the 10mil isk? I'm not saying they shouldn't, I'm just very curious and intrigued about your...ventures. I admire your value of emergent game play and even creation of your own :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it says clearly that everyone must pay AND act like the Gallant miner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or no one can pay and simply shoot you in the face to kick you out :)

      Delete
    2. I think the miners have enough in their plate without someone who can't pay shooting them in the face to kick them out.. or some such nonsense.

      Delete
  7. I always follow the code, but if someone suicide ganks me il just use kill rights(if they hit pod or war dec) to kill em over and over again till they leave and say gf. =p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > ..kill em over and over again till they leave and say gf.

      Hmm.. if that makes any sense to you, I can see why you are called "Fapped."

      Delete
  8. I'm going to have to go pay Myles O'Bryen a visit and we'll see if he thinks the "New Order" is still worse than Goons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You going to whisper sweet words into his ear while stroking him gently to make him like New order? Otherwise, I don't see how you can improve their reputation that much.

      Delete
    2. Hey look, the village idiot escaped again.

      Delete
    3. Nah, misguided is the word, or perhaps La isn't a native english speaker.

      Delete
  9. so I wardecced mack1 for fun. Who wants to take bets on how long it takes for him to leave his player corp and join an NPC one?

    ReplyDelete

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